Bye bye old blog, here comes new blog

New Blog was originally scheduled to be released later but decided to go on with it now. But updates wouldn't be as frequent as exams are near and will last for a couple of weeks :)

Link to new blog: http://jaredchee2007.blogspot.com/

Bye Bye

End of Blog number 2 - Into a New Chapter

New blog will be coming up around mid July

Hero?

Being a normal person is hard enough, what more being a superhero. Ever wonder how Peter Parker manage to handle all the $&@^@*# that comes in the way and at times without even giving it back a &*$&@(*%&? Uncle Ben's death? Gwen Stacy's death? Aunt May's death? Getting beaten up like *$#*@&%* and mocked for doing right? Even having to deal with MJ's death? How can a person take in so many things? Just how bad can things get?

My dad was right, I've always wanted to be a hero, I've always wanted to be the best. I'll just keep trying to prove that I'm better. He's right, but wasn't he just the same? I've always wanted to do more, just wanted to help. But the truth is, I can't even help myself. I've fallen down and every single time that I try to pick myself up again, it feels just the same and it's almost as if there's never ending to it. It's just way too pathetic to repeat it again and again. Just how bad can I get? Did I just had 7 years of bad luck? What's gonna happen next? I never believed in luck nor did I believe I am what I'm born into. I thought I could make a difference but can I? I can't even help myself right now. Can't even pull myself together. No matter how many times I try to fake a smile or try to look happy, I still can't fool myself. Can I for one day just escape from all the nightmares that I have? I'm no longer who I used to be. I never even knew me before.

This one's better

This is more like it

Really?

Do I look like a gurl or something?



Thought I would get some handsome and macho guys...

Emo through a dumb dumb's eyes

This post was stolen from Leland's blog. Can't believe I actually pretty much agree with dumb dumb this time.

Emo (Written by Leland)

All this time, we've been told that being emo was a bad thing.. People always say things like.. "Don't la emo" or "Why u emo?"

When referring to a person's personality and attitude, most definitions of emo hold that an "emo person" is candid about their emotions, sensitive, shy, introverted, glum, and often quiet

(Source : Wikipedia , 2007)

No i don't think emo people are uncool they jus sometimes annoy you with the emo-ness

Here's what i think of emo-ness
1. If ur emo, ur sensitive, it says so on top.. And being sensitive isnt a bad thing being sensitive normally means ur more considerate . . unless ur a nasty emo-er
2. Shy people arent bad .. Their just shy.. Same goes for quiet people
3. Some people are just more emotional than others.. You can't help it.. and being emotional isnt a bad thing by itself. . its when u cant keep it to urself...
4.

(this doesnt refer to u Jingyang. . ) <--- nor does it to Leland
5. (Adds) I dont think emo people choose to be emo right?

And so here's my stand for emo-ness ..

Anime again

5 more days till my practical exam and here I am now in cyber cafe with my friends. Relax a bit la I guess.

Here's some random anime test I did.





What Straw Hat Pirate Are You?


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.






What Fullmetal Alchemist Character Are You?


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.
m





What Naruto Character Are You?


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.






What Bleach Character Are You?


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

A new Jared Chee version 3.1.2 BETA (the pre - during - post and current all new modified Jared)

Zhu Whee, know what? and He did, just as usual. It's amazing how God works. Well, probably so amazing that I really know no words to say. Actually, I skipped classes for a couple of days, got lost in the middle of a city for hours under the sun and got sick. I guess it gave me time to clear up my mind. Ya know, many at times, I tend to forget God when I face emotional problems. No matter how much I thought I've overcomed the previous one or could go to God whenever I need Him or even as I said I'll follow Him all day, I still fall on my back at times. But the wonder of it all is how God pulls me back to Him each and every time. I guess there are times when we have to learn to pick ourselves up but God knows our limits and He never gives me a problem too huge that I can not handle, and if that ever happens, He's always there to lift me up. It's a comfort just to know about that. Well, I guess I've really been emotional lately. Pretty negative too I guess. But all's well ends well I guess. This couple of emo days have been great. Like so so great. Yeah, call me dumbass or whatever you want (try acting like Leland) ha ha but I still think it was great. It gave me time to look through all that I've been though and try to understand the lesson that I've learned behind it all. Can't deny just how amazing that feeling of overcoming something. Can be scary at times, especially when you have to think of a new way to bring up a new start when all you are trying to do is to change nothing but yourself. Remember, the surrounding remains and history remains as history but what has been renewed is what's inside. The mind. Even as I've not really prepared for exams as it will be starting next week, I guess I'm scared yet excited at the same time. Well, I do wish to bring the old me, like the old old old me that has the power of miracles over my test paper. I guess I'm once again confident over one thing, my state of mind. No matter what happens, I guess I'm willing to take it in and accepting the fact that sulking and crying over spilled milk won't do me much good. I still believe that Faith gives me strength in dealing with the unknown. A great mind gives me control over my body and all that is around me, and that if I can find a balance in between, I'll definitely make it. Remember how I've always said that I suck in relationships with people and that is one of the reasons why I don't think I can live long because I just can't seem to deal with it? I guess now I've got a bigger problem. I think I won't be able to live long if I continue to jeopardise my health like this. Like seriously. Well, I guess I shouldn't use that as a reason, not good enough.I really can't live or work on my own I guess. It's probably one of the biggest reason why I'm still alive today. Like what Sam said, I might have just died of a very funny Japanese comic death *laughs*. Having problems with families and friends and all that seems to concern me might bring a good lot of trouble to the brain at times, too much intaking of disturbing forces but I guess it's a matter of whether I see stars or mud through prison bars. I still like that quote, very very much. About the girl and guy thingy, I think I'll just leave it up to God. I seriously don't quite seem to understand and I guess that means not the right time. In 1Corinthians 7:25-38, it talks a lot about marriage and I guess I do agree with the part that it is probably best to remain single. For now, I guess I want to spend more time with God and if I really do find the right girl, I'll think about it. Yup, that's it. I guess that's probably one of the reasons why I got shocked when I first realised I like girls a couple of years ago and also when I realised I like someone again lately. Yes, I still do but I know, like what everyone said, it's normal... I think. Anyway, that's all for now folks and also special thanks to Leland who called me during the emo days from far far away (maybe not that far but still quite far), he's been calling from Australia and talking for errrm, the last record I think was for an hour. LOL. Thanks dude. If I hadn't know you since I was 5, I would seriously think you are gay. Not a good way to show appreciation but I guess that's how it goes for Leland. Happy now? Posting a lot about you. Your popularity has increased tremendously. Ho ho. That's seriously all for now. And oh, I've discovered what I want to do, might want to do and I'll tell you guys later. Goodbye for now.

Untitled

Once again I wonder, if people can really get emotional all the time or was it just me? I seriously can't tell. Things that happen each and every day, it almost seems to be conforming more and more that I'm abnormal. Once again, I'm stuck, lost, feeling hopeless. I've been searching for a reset button and yes, I did found one. This time, no error carry forward. Just blank, empty. So I thought, should be alright now. But, things never seem to be able to stay well for long. Even if I did click the reset button, and got all the problems gone, it still takes time to upload all the softwares again. The truth is, the burden itself is too huge for me to carry on my shoulders alone. Or was it just another excuse I give to cover the fact that I've been too used to what I had, relying on others all the time. Being kicked out of my comfort zone causes me to think more? Or was it because of the 1 hour sleep I had last night... morning? Was it because I no longer have a place in the dark anymore? No hideout or place for me to bury myself in the shadows? How is it normal for a person to wake up each day and only wishes for death to fall upon him? I'm not stupid enough to kill myself though, but I seriously do wish to be killed. Right now, I'm as good as dead. I'm still a sore loser. I hate losing. That's it.

Once again, I randomly post something just for you

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

Chee Keat sent this verse to me and I saw it again on Vic's blog. Worry too much I did?

If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.

Albert Einstein (posted by Mr. Quah on his blog yesterday) quite true also...

Dance practice before Easter


That's all for today folks

Anime

Japanese animation (or rather anime) are pretty popular this days (I think). Everyone seems to be watching at least one of the series. So I thought, pretty interesting and decided to check out some of it. This was one of those that I came across, "Chobits".







Well, the story's bout a boy which I do not know whether is a pervert or an innocent fella who found a persicon (humanoid robot). Pretty confusing though. Like the usual lovey dovey kinda drama as seen on tv, this guy was warned not to have feelings with the cute girl persicon that he found but still it happens. Just the usual thing. I was almost gonna give up watching half way through but didn't know why I actually ended up finishing 26 episodes of it. That is till the very last episode. maybe I do wish to own one of those too. LOL. I know, it really is gay to watch something like this... Well, I guess I did it and I shall have no shame admitting. If you're a she-male, you'll probably like it but still it's nothing much other than a lovey dovey typical hentai-ish (pervert) love story. (perverse rating: only 5% without nudity) Actually, the only thing I like about this anime is the opening theme song =P (try to cover up the fact that I watched it all) and Oliver was persuading me to watch Tsubasa Chronicles, another love story I guess. Love here love there, pretty troublesome.


Still, nothing beats One Piece :)




Picture: Straw Hat Pirates from One Piece (From left to right: Nico Robin the Historian/Archaeologist, Usopp a.k.a. Sogeking (King of Snipers), Roronoa Zoro the swordsman/ pirate hunter, Monkey D. Luffy the captain, Sanji the pervert chef, Tony Tony Chopper the reindeer/doctor, Nami the ship navigator, and Franky the shipwright who mad their new ship known as Thousand Sunny a.k.a. King of the Beasts)

What I can say about One Piece? A must watch :)

Oh, by the way, saw this quiz and yes... I took it...





Who's Your Anime Girlfriend?


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.


The kinda girl I had in mind eh? That is if I'll ever like a girl again (that's not what I'm having in heart)

Kiddo

Yong Kim thinks I have a child like heart. Grace once told me not to grow up too fast. My dad says, "I trust in you to make decisions son, you're a grown up now." and I said to myself, "Boy, how I wish I could be like when I was a child and yet again, at times I do wish I could know better, to be treated like a real grown up." The truth is, I don't get it at all. I don't know what I want and at times it can be really sickening. Today, a boy asked himself a question, "What is the difference between Elmo from sesame street and I?" He replied himself laughing, "I guess it's just the L in between. Elmo has an "l" in his name but I don't. Spell my name: E M O." and some might even say, "L goes to the forehead, lamer." Why do I even tend to think so much in the first place?

:)

During last year's christmas gift exchange




The picture that made me smile widely as I looked through my class album. Followed by giggles and then laughing out loud. It's good so see all of them smilling so happily (except for Ashok who apparently didn't seem quite happy with what he got from Iqbal :P ). It's a joy to see those around you smilling. That is the happiness I found.

When I taste something good

Note: This is not an emo post

Opened up a packet of sweets today and I started to put them in my mouth one by one. Realised how good it tasted and started to gobble in non stop. As I was eating happily, there came a "SMACK" and mama says: "You're eating too much and it's gonna spoil your appetite for dinner later." "Yeah mom, like I give a d*mn"... Well, I didn't say that of course but what came into my mind was that "Hey, Mr. Chee. Just because it taste good doesn't mean you can keep eating it. First of all, like what mom said, spoils the appetite and second, hallelujah if you don't get diabetes." Well, I guess same goes for every single thing that happened to me in life. I kept holding on to things that I like and wouldn't let go. I was too stubborn. Sometimes you just need to know when to give up eh? Know what, I actually do feel like a hypocrite right now. I fear to end up being one but can't deny the fact that I have been so. Sometimes I really do fear I can't do what I preach. Someone wise said, "When you preach the gospel, if necessary, use words." Let our actions do the talking eh? People have eyes to see and ears to hear. What I do and say is who I am to them. Who I am, as a Christian. What I regret most is I did not live my life as who I am, who God wants me to be. Ever since the day that I realised I like Hai Bee, I decided to back off. But even as I told myself to do so, my heart won't listen and feelings eventually came back. Just as it did when I tried to forget Grace. Move on Jared, move on, I said to myself. This week, when we went to send Curly (Wei Chin) off at KL central, Hai Bee said to me that I lack confidence in myself (because of something I've said) and I guess she's right. I've always wanted to avoid what's bad and I want to hold on to what's good. In relationships with people, I always fear to move forward. I miss the times that Hai Bee drove me around in her car, the days that she taught me about chemistry. Even if it was only a short period on time. I guess I relied on her too much. I just wanted to be a friend, to do something more for her. At least to give her back something. Never asked for anything more than that... maybe a little ever since the day... Okay, maybe more than a little. I know, months ago, I felt nothing. But when Grace left I felt this way. Pathetic it was. I know not about it myself. What have I become? I do not know. Sometimes I wish I could pay more attention in other things. I seriously do. But that still won't do. I can hardly pay attention in class. I tried, almost everything. Not that I did not, I did. So I said to myself, "Jared Chee, you still wish to die at the age of 26 right? Then why do you still need a girl? Give it up, give it up. Girls and you don't get along together. It has always been catastrophe and will always do." I guess I just don't seem to understand it. Like really. I mean, look at K.K., He's a much nicer guy than I do. Who am I? I even fear myself. I knew this was going to happen (at least having a possibility). Man, I like and hate to be treated nice by girls. See? 1 month plus ago, Bee was telling me how Miran is the kind that will think that girls like him if being treated so and know what? I'm the one now! When I get something good, I don't want to let go. My heart wants it only for me, for myself. I'm pretty selfish. I don't want the good times to go away. I just want to be me. I just want to be true. I just wish I could be better, I just want to know why, why I feel this way. I just want a cure. I just want to know what I can do. I just wish I could understand. I wish I hadn't done all that. I wish this would stop.


I Wish, I Want.

I wish we could go back to when things were easy.

When it was just us two.

When we were happy.

When we could be rude.

When we were selfish.

When we could still talk.

When there were no boundaries.

When we didn’t hide.

What’s going on inside.

When life didn’t make us sway.

I don’t want it this way.

I want no holds barred.

I want there to be no scars.

This fact, from me, you don’t have to pry

This is life - I wish or I want

Doesn’t really apply.

(I Wish, I Want. - written by Xin Ci)

Why I don't eat fish

As I was in a choose choose rice restaurant today, I saw pretty nice fried fishes lying on the tray, calling out for my salvation. Two things came into my mind at that moment. Mmmmmm, tasty, fried some more plus sauce seemed to look pretty inviting. Next thought I had was, wait a minute, I don't eat fish. But, seemed very good still... So, decided to grab one in the end. As I sat my lovely butt down, I stared at the nice little piece of sh... fish lying on my plate and it stared back at me, that is if it had eyes. I was reminded by the fish of why I do not eat fish. Know why? I don't like meat with bones, especially those with tiny little bones that will prick the... out of me. Actually it was only because of me being lazy to slowly sort out the bones. I just want things fast and easy and convenient for me. Me and only me. It was kind of like a reflection and reminder thingy for me. Why I don't work well with people. Was it just like what pastor Daniel said last week? Am I too busy for others? Do I even try to make the effort to help others? I know I am often tired but the question is, do I rest in Him? Do I trust in Him for strength, for help, for guidance? If so, what is it that stops me from caring for others. Well, I was always afraid about getting too close with others, afraid that I might get wrong feelings and so... bla bla bla. Been writing a lot this week, went Talipon with the regular fellas and did not join in cause I was sick so I wrote a lot in my journal. But, some things I guess are better off kept with me. By the way, Leland, you a dumb dumb =P
CF was nice today. Heard a new song by Jaci... something (Title: I will rest in Him... or more or less the same...) and it was awesome. Heard Avalon's new songs too in Gavin's car and also Sesame Street songs. Then saw Pricilla's house and Su Jern's house (apparently Su Jern stays near me) First time ever talk so much to Pricilla but don't worry, no special feelings. She's cute and I finally knew why they call her fish. No worries, Jared sealed his heart from girls for now. Went to One Utama to shop for Pricilla's CG gathering next week and gifts for her birthday. End up buying a pair of Elmo socks only. LOL. La La loves Elmo apparently. The Sui Fai dropped me at DUMC for CG and went out with Mr Wong and friends for supper. Came home from CG and went cc. Now here I am. Life is interesting with new people and lots of people around, but I guess there are times that we need someone close that we can share with, grow with. Well, I guess I pretty much found it in my new cell group. Gabriel is a really cool guy to share with and he's a good leader. Will intro him to you guys some day. Alvin is cool too, he can psycho you (Alvin Wong not Loke pls.) Oh, by the way, something reminded me of you today, Grace. Miss you. And you, Leland and Keem too. That sums up for today. Will have pics next week, after I visit Pricilla's house. Should be fun (hopefully) =) So long, farewell...

Coming back

Thanks Grace, Joy, Chin, Chee Keat... and those who have been there for me. Most of all, thank God once again for pulling me back on track. Know what, it's good to be yourself (be honest) but at times really have to be careful of choosing words to say. Alvin Wong messaged me a couple of days ago asking me if I want to join his cell just opposite DUMC. Apparently, it's a cell of students from everywhere around Malaysia. Gabriel's the leader and he's a really cool guy. I'm currently at a cyber cafe near my place which Gabriel just dropped me. I'm kind of lost in words now. Just came back from service and mamak and now cyber. My mind's still trying to adapt. The human structure according to what I think I know... is made of the body, the spirit and the soul. Sometimes I felt like 3 of those in me just deosn't seem to work with each other. Especially the 3 Cs, it's like only the concious part is in me (concious as in doing things just as a robot kind of concious). Never mind, just want to share with you guys a little of what I've been through recently. My name is Jared Chee and I'm 19. For about 4 years I've been liking a girl, secretly (maybe not that secretly). I got close to her and distant at time and again, had to part with her once more. I think you know who. Why do I like this girl? She's nice, she's gorgeos and I used to think and still thinks she's one of the prettiest thing other than God and my mom and granma. I felt great being with her and I find myself being able to communicate with her freely (not really, bills darn expansive) and growing in spiritual maturity with her as well. When's she wasn't around, I felt this emptiness, as if something was missing. I no longer have a human friend that I can share with. It was as if there is a hole in me that I need someone to fill in. There came Bee and she was really nice. He came to my place to give me tutions for chemistry (apparently had a little chemistry there). Sent me home from college, brought me to her church place at ss2... Shared with me and I slowly tried to open up with her. Well, the truth is I did not feel anything until Khai came in and I got jealous. Very human indeed (I thought I would never like girls again, just like what I've always said). I was mad at myself for I couldn't express myself freely... I have no stories nor jokes to tell... I did not feel like Jared Chee, I felt like I was just Jared... just.. I wanted to show her who I really am... who's the person behind all that she think she knows. I just wanted to talk to someone. Thanks to Wei Chin also, I got back on track. Know what, it all seemed to come to me one night after I prayed about it and once again I realised how powerful prayer is. Like what Wei Chin said, it is better off just being friends until you are certain of the feelings you have. It requires a deeper understanding. The was indeed a hole in me, a God-shaped hole. I guess only a person can fill. Know who? My LORD, Jesus Christ. It's honesty kind of awkward, for me to come here and post a blog. LOL. Never mind, moving on, I guess I need to spend more time with God now, the relationship thing, it can wait... Instead, I've always said I don't want one but it always goes the other way... I can't stop myself from having emotions or feelings, cause I'm made that way. Besides, I have more to focus on now. My studies, walk with God, reaching out for others. I need to make the move. Somehow, the sermon preached by pastor Daniel just now seemed to have an impact on me. Do we treat everyone equally? Do we share the good news with everyone? From cell's discussion yesterday, Gabriel quoted from a person (I forgot whom, John C. Maxwell I assume) saying that when you share with someone, if necessary, use words. What matters is not how well you speak, how well you can talk or how many words you know but rather your actions. Who you are reflects how Christianity is. We live our lives as the living testimony of God and I've never really shown it to my friends. Liek what pastor said, a little effort of sharing with people of trying to communicate with them will just brighten up their day and it brings them closer to God. Do we tend to only think about ourselves all the time? Gabriel said I have the mind of a 25 year old. Maybe that is who I am and I've always been trying to ignore that. I've always wondered why I can't do what others do. Why do I have to know that it is not right and can't do it. Why can't I just go crazy and have fun like others. Why is my conscience bothering me that much? I've always tried to act childish as it makes me calm and try to forget about things around me... sometimes it is just not that easy to find that balance. I'm glad that I met new people around. Somehow I felt the urge of sharing more with a person, Kumar. I felt him being touched by God when we were at one of of the churches in Setapak. I felt his need and wanting to know God. I want to share more with him. Same goes for Natalie. Guilt and fear has always been with me but I know, I have the upperhand, a power given to me to fight against it. I need to remember that. I need to remember what I've read in Isaiah 12 and all that God has shown me, whether it is the good or bad times, even as I only have a month or so to study. Even as it is hard for me to talk to Hai Bee, I will not give up. Because I know that God will help me through. I need to live by His words, I can never be ashame of Him. I love Hai Bee as a sister in Christ and I hope she knows that. I was misguided by emotions at a point but I know God will help me out. Thanks for Wei Chin too for being there for me not fearing what others think about us for going out togther sharing. Also thanks to Alvin Wong for giving me rides to church and cg. Love you guys and I hope we, together can make a difference in others' lives.

Not so emo but still a little emo

For now I guess Wei Chin and Chee keat are the only two person I can share with. I guess I'm confused with my own feelings. I should have been through that long ago. Sometimes I guess I can't help but feel lonely and emo. Apparently, it only started this year. I guess I'll stick to my first dream now. Wei Chin knows what that is and I think that should be the best. Also, I hope no one have to read this or the previous post. Not Grace nor Hai Bee. Jared Chee feels really hopeless now. He feels bad because he's a dumbass and he cannot control his feelings. He is in no way close to others. Not William nor Khai Ken... He's... just Jared Chee... Jing Yang... Honestly, hopefully Hai Bee doesn't think I'm a freak after giving her that letter of apology. I'm in shit now. I just lost a nice chem teacher... why? Emo... and now chem no longer seems easy... infact really tough... Can I even ask her to come to my place to teach me again? Will I even feel guilty saying that? Man... she must think I'm a real scary dude right now. Should I just go ask William for help?... but it'll definitely not be as good as Hai Bee... I miss my lessons... I SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I'm just another failure when it comes to relationships with others and mind you, by relationships I mean guys and girls, young and old... I just suck real bad. Be it guys or be it girls, I still have the problem. Lord save me... Should I really go for the first dream... It seems the best choice to me, but to others it might just be a life with no meaning. Anyway, not so happy to post right now. So long and farewell for now. Laters.

Emo

Well, Leland. Know what, I guess you are right, after all the times you've been telling me how emo I am and me denying it all the time. I finally realised that I am indeed really emo. Grace, know what, I've been tyring to avoid you all these while.Thinking that avoiding you might be the right thing to do as it might just help me forget you. Going through this process wasn't an easy thing at all and there were people who were with me. Honestly, I've been thinking and praying bout it so long and I've finally realised that my feelings for you are strong but being together and having strong feelings are just different. I secretly do wish that you'd find someone who'd treat you well too.Well, you deserve a person better than I am and I'm not ashamed to say so. A couple of days ago, I started to get pretty emotional, everyday. Especially during class hours. During these days of trying to figure things out, I got closer to a classmate of mine and it felt great. It was like I felt when I used to think about you all the time. But this was different. I hardly get to see you even more than 10 times in a year. Now, this person who was with me when I needed someone was there all the while yet I thought it was just a normal feeling, just a friendship that I cherish all the time. I felt great when I'm with her, and like you, she makes me feel like opening up myself to her. It was almost like a formation of a bond, a bond of trust. But as usual, happy times like this will never stay at a smooth sail all the time. She used to teach me chemistry and helped me in subjects that I'm weak in. Helped me a lot. Talked to me, sharing with me. How can I not have feelings with her? Just as things are turning smooth, the tidal wave hits and honestly, I got jealous. I didn't realised that I cared so much because like I said, I've only been treating her as a friend. I didn't just let her teach me chemistry because I think she's good in it but because she has the heart to help and I like her. When my friend came in, it was okay too. But at times I seriously do get kinda jealous. Well, he's got more jokes than I do. You know me well Grace, before I crack a joke, I'll always think if it's proper and I'll think over it over and over again just so that I don't make any mistakes or hurt anyone. Once again, I am no longer the me that you know before you left. Not a good thing though. It's almost as if my heart's hardened and I've become pretty brutal and vulgar. I even get blood boiling really easily. Even though I might not show it out but it was in me, in my mind and to struggle to win a battle within myself is not easy at all. I once thought I could cancel of unnecessary feelings but it seems that I can't. Feelings keeps coming again and again, especially when I see them. I've even mocked my friend in my heart, calling him a hypocrit and a pretender even as I know the truth that I am the real hypocrit and pretender behind this. I was mad, I hate it when he's always sharing his past and he's stories with us. I was always wondering why, why only she and I? Not others? Why does he start to sit next to her so frequently? Why? Why does he always stay back after class to study with us now? Why? Why doesn't he talk to other girls? Why her? Why break up with his girlfriend now and suddenly so close to her? Why make me look like a complete idiot infront of her? Why make me look like a small kid infront of her? Only me being the one without experience? Immature? How can I not feel bad? Asked me to join them for dinner just so that they don't look like they are dating? I'm just the invisible man. It was as if I never existed. In the bookstore... everywhere... Yes, I like her very much, now I know. So? Yea, he's a much better guy than I do, so I don't care. I hate myself. This feeling comes when my body doesn't listen to my mind and when my mind goes against itself. Once again, what has happened to me? I'm speechless and I've been avoiding them for days and so, we stopped talking to each other. 3 is always made up of 2+1 and not 1+1+1. So I understand, I should be the one to get moving. Both are my friends and I guess it's only good I can do them both.

In the Zone

Yup, finally got back in the study zone. Praise the Lord. Special thanks to Hai Bee and Wei Chin for teaching me Chemistry and Maths and also Khai Ken for constantly praying for all of us. Also, Oliver, Sen loong, Yen Haw, my lovely housemates which are so so gay yet very cool fellas. Yes I know I'm talking jobbies now but sorry cause it couldn't be helped. It is good to be able to gain a balance and be steady when something happens. Most of all, knowing the importance of a stable foundation. I'm actually pretty tired. This week wasn't bad at all, actually was pretty good just that I constantly fall asleep in class. It's almost like an everyday practice. No idea what the jobbies I'm talking now. Guess I'll just say, laters.

Dear blog please don't die

I think I'm not suppose to be here right now as bus will depart from Ipoh in another 3 hours and class will be in another 7 hours. Don't even know if I can make it. Life has been like this but still changing though. How can I say. Life is better, much better now as I think I'm starting to get into a better attitude towards how I live my life. The understanding that motivation and knowledge is important yet it can't really bring me far without the right attitude is no longer a breakthrough but rather a constant reminder that I try to keep in mind every now and then. Knowing without being or doing is as much of the same as not knowing at all and that was almost how I lived it everyday. I knew relationships with others were important and I've told many about how they should make the effort of fixing it up with others with problems and yet I made little effort in it. I knew I never talk to dad much and yet I tried to avoid going heart to heart with him. They say sons are like their fathers but I say dad and I aren't alike at all. Maybe there's one thing, stubbornness. Not something to be proud of but it happens when I talked to him. I've always been jealous of my friend's with dads who are CEOs of big big companies and owns this and that. Then I was jealous of those who have dads that spends a lot of quality time with them. But only when it comes to the times when I see those with dads that gets drunk every night and hardly cares for the family made me realise how blessed I am to have a dad who works so hard to give his family a better life. My God has shown me much in life, from something small to something big. From the experience of being weak to strong, the heartbroken and the joyful ones. Every single bit of it touches my heart and I pray that that won't be the only thing that makes the fire in me burn. Just the hope that the flame will keep burning and I'll live up to what I started off, what I have in mind. That is if it's right. Every single move I make, even a small step makes a big difference in my life and I hope that time won't it off. By the way, the results for the first exam of unit 1 and 2 just came out for a week and most of them (A48A) did pretty well... Most of them got all As but not satisfied. Apparently, they wanted full marks. Scoring full marks isn't impossible but isn't that equivalent to how much effort you put in and how whether you started off right? I'm taking quite a few of unit 2s now and wonder if I still stand a chance to make it. As the words of "Jared, who are you?" keeps playing in my mind. Well, most of what happened just went into my new bought journal and things have once again become more personalised. Life still has a long way ahead. Might not be that long so I'll try to "live my life like a dying man" every day. Just hope it won't go to waste. So, so long, farewell, I got to go to bed now. Laters.

Recents

Nothing much happened lately, just the normal out of the normal. Yesterday's bio prac was fun though, everyone got high. Almost everyone. There were 2 pictures taken during that time. Take a look.



Something just doesn't seem right



Notice anything different?

Since I do not know what to post or how to make my blog alive again, I've decided to post some recent pictures taken, including Williamar's birthday.



Amman was high that day and he challenged me for a match. (Sorry, pictures of everyone not available yet)



and this was their score (A for Ashok, MM for Oliver, FW for William, and WW for Amman)



and here's our score (K for Khai Ken, JC for Jared, LL for Ah Wong, H for Yen Haw)
can't believe we lost by 6 points



and he was so proud of it

Time to reveal the birthday boys



happy birthday to u and...



SMACK! along came spongebob and squidward (the whole thing was captured on video)



2 cakes have gone to waste, each one on the face. Better be careful with this one



and he did it



and when it was Kumar's turn, Amman says, "Let me help u with the chocolate chips first. It'll be easier for u." and Kumar replied, "Please."

but,



This is what happens when u trust our "self-proclaimed Spartan" friend here :P
and Kumar says ...



Amman, still reaching for his cravings...




dear friends, remember this face and be careful if u want to live long...



Here he goes



and he made it



They were so happy



So we took a picture together



and again



The girls at Chili's

and the ENd of e day.

Let me introduce you to my 2 new senseis



1st sensei Ng Wei Chin aka curly fries

and



2nd sensei, Bee Bee chan (the girl who thinks I'm wicked XD he he!)



A48A dream class

Once again, A48A,



We roc them sox!

Back to Normal

Life is once again back to to normal. Nothing much, really. Actually, pretty much happened last week. But it was just kind of much but still nothing much kind of much though. I don't even remember what I wanted to post. One of it which was about last week's sermon by Chris Kam which I don't really remember what I really wanted to tell. Just can't seem to put my words together now. It's probably because of the second one which is what noticed again for the past few days. The new A49 intake seems to have pretty much 'chun' babes. Yesh, serious. 2 days ago, Oliver told me that there was a girl that looked exactly like Anne Hathaway in the bus but I thought he was bull crapping and I still do but honestly, I still think that it might be possible too because we did saw an 'Eva Green'. Remember the girl that I posted about some time ago? The one I met on the way to HP tower? I met her again! In Wisma HELP. Anyway, MPH warehouse sale was awesome. Went there with Oliver, Bee and Chin. Got some books for half the price and some only for 3 to 5 bucks. Great deal. I'll try to get more and stock up for the year this Sunday if I can possibly make it back there in time. Well, guess there's nothing much I can say. Life really is normal right now... Like really really really normal...

Thank You Crow

This post here is dedicated to the nicest and funniest crow in my life. She's a crow that has been there for me all the time. Be it sad times or good times, I found someone I can truly share my feelings with.



and, this is she.



the one that made me and still makes me smile like this.



She can be pretty quiet at times,




but I enjoyed the silence she thought me.



Sometimes she can be pretty wild,



and that makes me speechless and fills me with endless joy.



These are the good times we had together.



She knows the right words



even without saying them



and that softens the hardened heart of mine



She shows me how great God is all the time



by all that she does



and taught me to be a living testimony of God



and that is what I wish we could all be.



Even though I might not be the one who you want to share with



nor do I know if we ever get to move forward, but I still want to



Thank you for all these good times you have given to me even though it's only a short while. It meant a lot to me and will always do.

Another random post

Been talking to Curly Fries this week, talked about relationships with her in the study room one day and aikzzz, Siew Li was just next to us... sleeping. Made me feel awkward, it would have probably been better if she was awake. LOL, and she told me that she wasn't listening. Ha ha. After talking to someone about relationships again, I came to a conclusion which confirmed the previous statement I've made. Yup. Got the same answer again. WAIT! Jared's got to wait. The last person that I talked to bout relationships was Tien and guess what? Answer was WAIT too! and it has always been. So I guess I'll just wait.

What drives me?

Ah, back once again. Want to know what happened? Samazing happened to me! It's like an overnight miracle thing. Well, nothing much actually. I mean, it might be nothing much to you but it is a lot more than much much much to me. I had better understanding in my purpose in life. Okay, I did not read Purpose Driven Life and still haven't got it yet after all these years... but joining BSF that day and going through many many many many many many many and many... things and experiencing so much have given me a better understanding of what I'm about to go out there and achieve it. But most importantly, prayer. God answers through many different ways but prayer is important and it goes with persistence with it. Persistence is good but that also depends on what you are applying to. Never ever follow what I did by persistent in... "Mom, when can I have that..." "I know you are pretty and you are nice, but... I still like someone else..." "Sorry... I still like someone else..." Grandma says, "there are many girls in the sea, forget bout this one la..." Maybe not in the sea but... and I say,"She nicest mah..." Alright, just kidding. My life has been pretty busy now. Used to have all the time in the world but now, I just wished I have more time and I could sleep less. I can't fully trully turn into a nerd cause there are more that I need to learn and do right now. It's not easy to catch up to something that I have missed for years. But honestly, no time for girls now. So all those blind dates for Valentines that you guys (William, Oliver...) are up to... I just don't have the time for it right now. I'll still continue to keep an widely open eye for girls out there when I have time that I don't mind wasting. Most probably when I go from Wisma Help or KPD to HP Tower for lunch, saw a pretty good looking girl that day too. The dazzling sun shinning bright and her fair complexion reflecting the rays and giving out that WOW radiance and the wind glides through as she walked passed me, hair flowing with the wind (just like what you normally see on tv) but just that she's a real girl. Alright, forget about girls. Not really worth mentioning here. He hee. Biology 3 lesson 1, Metabolic Pathway... errr ATP? what's that? That's why... no time this year. Students getting smarter and smarter... William's sis = best A level student so far ever since A levels existed in Malaysia. 5 awards was received last year and hopefully I can get my hands on at least one of those little... that I'm gonna work so hard for. But doesn't matter actually, I believe that as long as I give my best, nothing really matters anymore. Fame? Proving that I'm better? To be acknowledged by others? To win the rest? Doesn't matter anymore. I just want to be able to give my best to play my part in this world to help those who need my service. Doesn't matter if I don't get to study law in Harvard or Cambridge just like how my cousins did or study in Imperial College. Doesn't matter if I can't be a leader, doesn't matter if I can't do better than William cause that is not what's most important. Winning? I'll win myself and I'll challege myself to the very last breath I have. I won't go slow nor go fast for I do know that it will eventually come to how it is as I go with the flow. I put my trust in God and that is how it should be. Know what is important to me? GOD! my family and friends! people that I can lend my hands to and also living the best out of every day I have. That's what motivates me to work harder now. YEAH! Proverbs 1:7 for you. Aikzz, been here too long... got tonnes of work to catch. BSF is kinda boring but it is GOOOD!!! So go join today nomatter where you are, from India to Australia, just go for it! YEAH!

An Ah Long (loan shark) Speaks Up

Saw this on the papers (The Star -thursday 1st of Feb 07). Pretty cool. Ha ha.

FINALLY, great news - those who borrow from Ah Longs will have to face the law.
This is my (the fella's) real life story as an unlicensed Ah Long for many years.
Yes, you can say we(they) make tonnes of money by increasing the percentage every day. But did you ever think how hard it is for us(them) to get our money back?
And please, I'm (he's) not talking about RM1,000 or RM2,000. I'm(he's) talking of a range of between RM50,000 to RM500,000.
As far as I(he) can remember, I(he) only approached fewer than 10 people to take loans from me(him) in seven years of business.
Most of the time, the public approaches me(him) for the loans. After all the necessary documents are ready and terms and conditions read and understood, we(they) issue the loans. To our(their) dismay, 70% of the public who take loans can't pay on time. Mind you, we(they) have expained the terms and conditions and they have agreed to them.
Yes, we(they) can wait a day or two, but when we(they) have to travel all the way from KL to Penang to collect the loans, and the borrowers are nowhere to be seen or don't have the money, how would you feel?
After all the phone calls plus the petrol and toll charges that are rising sky high, do you actually think we(they) want to harass the public? No, we(they) don't, but sometimes things get out of hand when the borrowers don't keep their word.
I(he) have tried my(his) best to deal with these borrowers. Sometimes we(they) try to help people who need money urgently.
We(they) help, you agree, but after you get the money, you forget everything and start complaining to the police that the Ah Longs are harassing you and your family.
The police will hunt us(them) down and the borrowers escape. is this fair?
What I'm(he's) trying to say is, it's not the fault of the loan sharks; it's the public who creates the hassle.
I(he) am speaking for myself(himself), and would like to say a big "Thank You" to whoever came up with this brilliant idea of catching the borrowers.
I may help make Malaysia a better place to live.

I can't help laughing but at the same time pity the Ah Long too.
Like what he said he's trying to do good right, by helping people? :P
But lesson learned, do the right thing la.

Ah, good to be back

Ah, my long abandoned blog. Finally feel like writing again. This blog was first created for me to list down my grouses but sometimes it does seem a little pathetic or maybe more than just a little... but still it was fine. Secondly, it was created so that little crow (Grace Foo Sze-En) and I can still keep in touch even though being seperated by distance. As you can see, I break down pretty easily so that is what makes this blog so boring and I was gonna give up posting but little crow reminded me one very important thing which is to live it and not hide it. I learn as I go through all these things and this blog shall record it down for me. By the way, was on the phone with crow and it was great, being able to share that much but most of what we shared = confidential. So, guess this is all for now =) and read proverbs is what she said.

Lemon-tree

I'm sitting here in a boring room
It's just another boring afternoon
I'm wasting my time
even there's something to do
I'm hanging around
I'm thinking of you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

I'm driving around in my car
I'm driving too fast
I'm driving too slow
I'd like to chnage my point of view
I feel so lonely
I'm waiting for you
And something did happen and I wonder

I wonder how
I wonder why
Having the thought of you alone makes me cry
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
I turning my wheels, up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is my car on a lemon-tree

I wonder how I wonder why...
I used to think its because I was too shy
And all that I can see is just myself looking like a lemon-tree
I wonder how
I wonder why...
Maybe I should just give up love life
Cause all that I can see is just all these misery
I wonder how I wonder why
Maybe I should just like girls I dont like
As long as they like me
Maybe it would been easy...

But...
I still wonder...
I wonder how I wonder why
Yesterday you told me bout the damn blue sky
And all that I can see...
And all that I can see...
AND ALL THAT I CAN SEE!
Is just another lemon-tree...

"Gwoemul"

Hankooki.com > The Korea Times > Nation


USFK Employee Gets Suspended Prison Term for Toxic Dumping


By Lee Jin-woo
Staff Reporter

A local appeals court on Tuesday sentenced Albert McFarland, an American civilian employee of U.S. Forces Korea (USFK), to six months imprisonment with the term suspended for two years for instructing his subordinates to dump a toxic substance into the Han River in Seoul in 2000.

The 59-year-old chief of the mortuary at the 8th U.S. Army garrison was convicted of dumping some 227 liters of formaldehyde into the river through a mortuary sewage drain by a Seoul district court in January last year.

``Considering conditions of the Status of Forces Agreement (SOFA) and other regulations on crimes which occur during peacetime and not in connection to official duty fall under jurisdiction of a Korean court, there should be no doubt over the jurisdiction of this case,’’ the court said in its ruling.

The court said it had decided to hand down the accused a suspended jail term in consideration of the average sentence given in similar cases.

McFarland uttered the word ``regret’’ after yesterday’s hearing, but is expected to appeal to the top court.

McFarland, who was initially accused by Green Korea United, an environmental group in July 2000 for his crime, was indicted by a summary court in March 2001. He was fined 5 million.

But, a Seoul district court judge rejected the penalties by the summary court and ordered him to stand a criminal trial considering the seriousness of the case. The district court handed down a six-month prison term for McFarland in January 2004.

After refusing to appear for trial several times, the USFK civilian employee showed up for an appellate court’s hearing for the first time in December last year.

He was promoted to chief of the mortuary from his previous vice-chief position in June 2001 after he was given a short disciplinary measure under U.S. military regulations, being relieved from his post for 30 days without pay.

things@koreatimes.co.kr
01-18-2005 17:31

And that has led to the tragic event of the ravaging "Gwoemul" monster in "The Host"
(the statement above is not true, I made that up, so don't sue me. William is not ready yet. Thank you.)

(picture doesn't belong to me as well, taken from somewhere and I guess it belongs to the producers of "The Host")

Goodnight and please don't simply dump waste, thank you.

Expressing myself with colours

Expressing myself with colours

I smell a disturbing force


It's jedi time


Blue Princess Ceeern


Green Joker Oliver


Darth Jared

To the light or to the dark?

Cannot die... yet

So this blog decided that it cannot die... yet. So I guess I have to leave in there for a while. Yes, blessed I am indeed. Sometimes I'm just too tired. Sen Loong made a point there showing me that I am always trying to do things on my own. Screwing up in high school does leave behind lots of unpleasant memories. And yes, I've always been doing things on my own. All on my own. But now, I realised that I do need others. I need to rely on God, I need my friends too. Just have to get that annoying little bastard outa me. Grace was right about me. Falling down and standing up again makes me a living testimony of God's grace. Being able to take down what I've been through and changes in me can be seen in this blog and it might just inspire others. Actually, I really don't know what to say right now. So I guess I'll just end here. Thanks to Zhu Whee, Grace, Seokie, Yung Chien, Jon Wan and all of ya guys who has been supporting. Bubye.

Changing

Some things in life can never change and that was how I realised, instead of spending so much time, thinking so hard of how to change others, might as well just change myself. I no longer know of showing emotions. It's just too unnecessary. It's probably not what I'm best at. At least not as good as I once thought I was. The time when I came here, I thought it was a great opportunity for me to move on. To see greater things. To change for the better, not for worst. But it seems that as time goes by, all is just the same. Environment can't change me, because it's all in me. Only I can change what is around me and only I can change what is in me. Working with others was never easy and now I've definitely learned sth more. That is, staying with others is even harder. Human were never meant to be easy, they were made complicated. Unique beings, that's what they were created to be. Well, I guess for some, going through teenage days might just involved the thought of being unearthly and I'm definitely one of those. Just the question of why am I not doing or feeling like others explains it all. All that happened these years seemed to be like dejavu, it just goes on and repeats itself over and over again. Over and over and over again that it makes me feel so sick, so tired. But what can I do? This is life right? Life goes on, things move on whether I like it or not. So change me, yea, change me. I'll change. I'll be able to change or if not, I'll also end up die trying and still able to change. My stubborness knows no bounds but there is a time when I need to know when to stop.

Well I guess I'm really out of ideas or what to write. I no longer find any meaning in this blog and I announce that it is now officially over. This shall be the last post and 2 weeks until it is demolished.

Awareness

World Aids Day. Everyone did something about it but all I did was to lie down on my not so comfortable couch and watch tv. And damn... why do they have to show me the faces of those poor kids with aids... It just makes you (me) cry like a sissy. According to Oliver, which was according to errrmmm, UN probly, u have to call them HIV victims, and drug addicts u have to call them drug users? O_o??? Prostitutes = sexual services?... Ok, that wasn't what I wanted to post here today. Just wanna let those who are not aware of health problems or the welfare of others who are obviously not as blessed as us in a way. We can show them our love or play a part in helping them as well. In anyway. Juz came across a mail from World Vision. Now u can also help the children who are in need by buying them a gift... can be schooling tools, vitamins, clothes... by using the name of ur love ones and let them know that you've helped another soul with them. Ciao now and share ur love and blessings just like how much God loves you.

Untitled - Running Out of Ideas

Aikzzz, juz realised that someone isn't coming back on d 8th, kena con big time. Was so happy somemore. So I guess I won't be coming back till the 15th. I think I can kiss youth camp goodbye this year. Somehow, for the very first time I felt sorry for myself. No complains but I do deserve it. If ONLY I've worked a bit smarter and harder and NOT let time pass me by juz like that. Man, I'm starting to sound like my mom. Not cool at all. But that's the truth. Anyways, might not be the first person or one of the very first few person to see someone when that someone comes back :( Kinda sad la of cuz. I shall pray that classes on Monday gets canceled XP Wonder if she knows I really MISS her and not juz miss. Maybe MISSSSSSSSS or MIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS =P
My mama says, life is like a box of chocolates... bla bla bla...
Doesn't matter.
This is a very random post with very random thoughts and very random things written by a very random person. So, sit back and enjoy the EXTREMERANDOMNESS! or maybe not...

Songs stuck in my head = I'm Not Alright by Sanctus Real
Miss You Like Crazy by the Moffats

Proverb stuck in my head - Be hard working and become a leader, be lazy and become a slave.

If weakness is a wound, that no one wants to speak of
And cool is just how far we have to fall
Can I loose my need to impress? Cuz if you want the truth
I'll have to confess
I'm not alright, I'm broken inside, broken inside
All I go thru, leads me to u, leads me to u

Then it comes to I miss you like crazy, even more than words can say, girl I'm so down, when your love's not around. I miss youuuuuu, I miss yuuuuuuqeeiqjeid....

BANG! Shot to death.

To be honest, still can't throw away the childishness in me. For me to be losing untill now but I will definitely win in the end. I will still play on my childish game but this time, change of game rules and game play. You are invited.

5 パーセント 5%

Death Note Remade
The Chem Bio & Physics Notes

私はL のように見えると実際に考える人々がある信じてもいいか?
L からの死亡笔记。
私はJ である,
J 大きいの。


Since Joy Joy thinks I look like L, I made this and proved that I don't look like him at all. I'm cuter according to some girl in college =)

But I do think that Andy looks like Yagami Raito (Tatsuya Fujiwara) the way he looks at you and smiles. A little freaky there but he's a good guy, a very nice one infact.

And I remembered I had this pic somewhere in my comp. Doesn't he look like Misa Misa? (Leland) Misa Misa wanabe =P

Played chess with my sis and I admit I suck real bad, never lost to her before, not before I came back from KL.

Exam is just around the corner... actually it's just another 12 hours. I'll be having my physics mock test at 10 in the morning and I have to go all the way back to Kl around 5 in the morning with is in another 7 hours.
But I don't really care. It's just mocks right? I'm aiming for the real thing. I shall not let this little failure bring me down. My parents have paid so much for all I needed to study. My lecturers have been so good to me, especially Mr Ronnie K who gave me extra classes, kudos to him and kamsahamnida. Not to mention those who gave me support and hopes all the time, Grace, Joy Joy and all. How can I let you down. People might laugh at me calling me stupid and saying that how could someone like me aim for the world awards. What do u mean by someone like me? You think I took A levels just to get a pass or an A? I know getting straight As isn't enough because 1 out of 3 students will definitely get straight As. I need to be better. I need to score full marks for all 4 subjects. I've passed my LAN and what more do I need to be afraid of now? I belive that as long as I believe and I know my strength from above, I can make it through. Mr Ronnie is right, I shouldn't think of beating other people's score but rather my own. But one thing I disagree is to aim low, I know I'm lower than Ashok now which most of us probably know what that means. I know I am stuborn but I will assure u, that I, Jared Chee will be the best. I admit I was childish, always thinking that I can study last minute an score in order to prove I'm the best. I made that foolish mistake. Even as I am still as childish as ever, I will definitely play this whole game of being the best in a new way. I will definitely win in the end.
45 more days till Edexcel A levels Unit 1 and 2 test.
4 subjects and about 50 chapters all together.
About 5 hours to study per day.
At least an hour for each subject.
At least 10 x 1 hour to finish a chapter and fully comprehend.
- another 10 days x 5 hours for past year papers.
- 4 hours/day in 20 days to solve all problems.
And currently at a level of 0% chance of passing.
Leaving me only about less than 24% chances of getting better results.
After wasting about 100 days x about 4 hours/per day worth of lessons.
And about 150 days x 5 hours/per day worth of revision which went all the way down the drain.
Also 100 days x 4 hours/day worth of problem solving.
Leaving me only about 9% chances of passing.
Not including other problems that comes around and interferes my studies which will probably cause me to lose concentration and time which I assume by half, if I'm lucky or blessed I would rather use.
That leaves me less than 5%.
Still think I can make it?


Can I break the code?
Can I solve the puzzle?
Can I break the barrier?
Can I make it?
I won't quit.

1 か月! 30 日以下! 150 時間以下!増加5% から100% 年から, 可能か?


I wish I can receive the world awards like I received this frame.

Lost in Thoughts

Speechless, totally defeated... almost or maybe fully but not feeling like giving it up yet, never. But, tired. Still can't climb up. I fell. I want to climb up again but I kept falling. It's so tiring. How long can I keep on? Time passes by so fast when you can't keep up with it. I just drags up backwards instead driving you forward. I'm lost. Been thinking too much lately. Not as much as I used to but more than what's happening recently. Got to sign off now.

Something great that You Should Know

Picked this up from somewhere


You are who you are for ar reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design
Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb
You're just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Maker's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!!
(Russel Kelfer)

It's time to rise again

Ah, life after 'Raya'. For me it was no good. Why? Because I told myself that I was gonna finish the whole syllabus before my lecturers does. I brought all my books back to my home and guess what. The big bag wasn't even open until the last day of my holidays. My hols... just went down the drain like that. What have I been doing? Staying infront of the computer so long till I couldn't concentrate in class for one whole week. Grace, if you are reading this page, remember that time when you asked me about how I put myself to study and stay disciplined? Well, it's not really working now. Not that I blame going back to Ipoh, it was just me. I couldn't resist the computer. Think about it, weeks and months of not being able to touch my own computer (since my mom says I shouldn't use laptops now which I also partly agree with that). How can I not use it to the fullest when I get home? What I do infront of my computer all day long? Good question, but that's something I can never answer you because I don't even know. Lame, lame, lame. Excuses, yes I know. I couldn't study at home, I couldn't study in my condo with my friends, means I have to study in the library. I shall try then... Besides studies, other things are in a mess as well. Life was enlightened when the girls started coming to me for the rental thing but girls are troublesome so I better keep myself to myself before I get too sick and turns gay. Here you can see lots of desperate fellas, they think about sex all day long, every 15 seconds according to professionals. They even call for prostitutes!!??!!! Man! It cost about 250 ringgit and I might as well use it for 5 times of Shogun. Sometimes I do wonder if it's ok, to do it... now. But to think about it, what's the point? Ok, enough of that. My innocent mind has been corrupted thanks to Oliver Teh Wei Hsuen the twisted aka Twisted Oliver. Quiet time hasn't been so good but I'm still working on it. Once again, all the best to me. In everything. I'm gonna be the best. Must have faith. Proverbs 12:11, Work hard and be a leader, be lazy and become a slave. That's big difference my friend. So I guess I'll choose the first one. Jared Chee The Master Slacker - Lazy Human Legend shall change into Jared Chee the Hardest Working of All. I shall and I will be the best. Actually life now is kinda sad, I can never post anything else other than randomly typing bullcrap in minutes time. What to do? Can only use the computers in library =(

Bio Lab

Bio Lab

It started of with something not so clear

but then, things look clearer now

it's stomata!... I never said it was something special

people I can see in class: Ronnie Kueh (the lecturer with the lamest jokes), William the one who will definitely get 29 out of 30. Yen How the guy I don't even know what to say... Sen Loong the... coughing dragon... I got nothing to say about him also... Oliver... the horniest guy on earth... and khai ken the kindest of all...

Ling the cool girl... Alpha Wei Chin the funny human calculator... Natalie the shy yet not shy girl... Bee the good girl... Amman the he who calls himself Ultraman King n we call him Ultraman Singh with jokes we can never laugh... Ashok... I really dunno what to say about him... you have to come take my place to experience it...
From picture, Ashok "amused by the wonders of a leaf"


Lastly, the crazy fella you guys were waiting for but dare not mess with :P

People from mua class

People from mua class in HELP


Chicks from mua class. From left to right, Chen Ling, Natalie aka Natalia, Lee Young-ae (Bee Bee)


Iqbal the boy who always hang out in DSA n Mr Koh U Beng who's been lookin for him since forever...


Retarded boys, Khai n Oliver


Kumar aka Zorro n Iqbal


Oliver = Sleeping beauty?


Sen Loong: "Whacha lookin at? Punk!"


Yen Haw: "Leave me alone, I just wanna look cool..."


From left to right (Bee Bee, Khai at d back, Nuss n Oliver)


Last but not least, the long awaited guy that everybody loves
the young n good looking, smart n courageous... okay, I shall speak no more
n I present to u,

Me!


(Need more pictures of the rest of my class mates, especially Ashook's =P )

Possible?

When I was 3, everything seemed so tall and huge. The world was so big and I was so small. It was really an amazing thing to see things around you standing tall and brilliant. The buildings were towering the skies and the word sky-scraping would have really meant more to me at that time. Every single thing, even the razzle-dazzle of sunshine seemed so beautiful!
When I was 5, everything seemed to be possible. Even as I've had a great number of questions in mind, nothing seemed to be able to stop me from going with what I thought was right. Not even my mom! =P
When I reached 10, things were still going on well. Smooth sailing all the way and I had like all the fun in the world. I did lots of embarrassing acts that I just didn't quite felt so at that time. Maybe a little, just a little. Nothing seemed to be "not okay".
When I was 13, life for me seemed to have moved on to another level. To an extreme that people like me would have found confusing. That was the time when I started asking why is something not possible. The start of year when I was 13 wasn't so pleasant but still it ended well for the year and that leads on till the 15th year of my life.
When I was 15, things started of really great and it was a really good start. Not to mention that I also a great deal of fun which I considered it as a real school-life throughout the year. That was the time when I said, "what can ever go wrong?"
But when I finally turned 16, I have had a great ton of questions which was never ending. I felt so impaired and fazed that life was really nothing more than a stupid game. That brought back memories of certain times when I thought, imagined that God was a "BIG" man playing Lego and I was one of the Lego Toy Boy He was playing in His little Toy Earth set. I pictured Him as someone who is having loads of fun playing with me and I really wanted Him to change the story or just remove me from the game.
Soon, I learned to realise how great God was and is to me. Thanks to my family, my friends, my relatives, my neighbours, my pet fishes, my neighbour's dog... and even my enemies. That's when I learned to see things in God's way and not my way. Even so, I still had certain questions like, "can God really do that?" "Is God really...?" "does God...?".
Now, I'm finally 18 and in months time I'll be 19. Now is the time when I have questions like, "Can that be done?" "Can I really do that?" "Are you sure?"
From the time of when I started to think until now, after going through all these stages from possible mindset to questioning if something is possible. Will I ever turn into a person who would rather stick to the impossibilities to make sure I don't lose out? Well, I don't know. I hope and I wish I don't but I am not the one to determine that. I'll just live on my life and I shall see what will happen. Oh, by the way, A levels is not as easy as what people (especially form 6 people) tell you! Because they know nothing about it at all! I'm having a really really really hard time now and currently still in a dimension of confusion. So don't bother asking me to update my blog for I think I have already given you something that can last for at least weeks. Yes, I do need prayers for perseverence and discipline and not to mention understanding to my studies which is really really really crucial now. Quiet time is going on pretty well except for the crazy days of LAN which consumes all my PRECIOUS TIME and causing me to fall ASLEEP once I reach home (also in CLASSES). Guess this is all for now. Arrrrggghhhh! Being jealous now! Envy you ADP slackers!

Shogun Dream

Oh, btw, Shogun dream's gone... all because Oliver lost in the singing competition (not blaming u =P). But it wasn't too bad, really! Oliver can sing pretty well, he was good enough to make it to the finals and got 4th placing (without any background music to accompany and no band!). Even Wei Chin didn't get in! =P jk la. But we shall do it again next year, that time, I shall play for you my dear friend. Coughing Drago and I shall fight along with you side by side!

Too Contented to the World?

What do you first think of when you wake up every morning? If you are working, have you ever asked yourself if you are ready for work when you wake up? When I first heard of this question, I asked myself, "Jared, are you ready for class?" and sadly, my answer was "no!". To be honest, I really like to read, really like to study. I even find text books interesting. But when it comes to the word laziness, its merely unstoppable. I'm a Jack with all play and no work and therefore makes him a dumb boy. I like to sit my butt in places like Shogun, Secret Recipe, The Ship, San Francisco Steakhouse... and just eat all I can. Life like this sure is great, everyone likes this kind of life. I mean who doesn't? Yesterday, Mr. Vincent Pee came to our CF and he shared with us some very interesting stories which are of course very true and very useful. One of the questions that I still had in mind was, do you think that the world owes you a living? What would you think when all of your colleagues got promoted and you still haven't? What would you say? I would say most us will actually think that it's never our fault. The true question is, what have we done for the company to deserve such promotion. Ever heard how some hunters hunt wolfs in winter? They use a dagger covered in blood and let it freeze till it looks like a stick of ice-confection. Then they will just leave it standing on the ground. And when the wolf smells the scent of blood, they will start licking the iced-dagger. Soon enough, its tongue will feel numb and slowly cutting its tongue off as the ice melts. What's next is something that I need not tell you because we all know what's going to happen if a creature doesn't stop bleeding. What I'm trying to connote here is just how sin has been and is always attacking me. Sin, is just like the dagger. It uses the tasty blood to drive you closer and take you out without being able to realise that. The money that I'm spending now is my parents. So what makes me deserve a nice cup of San Francisco coffee?



sigma bonds (σ bonds)

BIO ...

Just finished my biology test. Wasn't good at all. Damn sad... I remembered every picture clearly, the shape, the size the positions but I forgot most of the functions! How can I forget the most important things of it? Actually not too bad also... at least it was a great improvement. I only studied for less than 6 hours. 4 hours on 1/2 of chapter 1 (Cells - the phospholipids, protein and carbohydrate part) and another 2 hrs on the other 4 chapters which I only briefly looked through. I think I need at least 48 hours to finish the whole Unit 1 and fully understand and remember it. Anyway, will be launching Opperation Massive Uploading today and it's gonna last for 3 days. Wish me luck even though I don't need it. Btw, met a chick (quite 'chun' I think) in the lift. I'm bullcrapping again...



Induced fit diagram

This Fall, Eat This Not That

McDonald's: Filet-O-Fish (with tartar Sauce, no cheese)



380 calories
13 grams (g) protein
41 g carbohydrates
16 g fat (3 g saturated)
1 g fiber
530 milligrams (mg) sodium

vs.

Burger King: Big Fish Sandwich (with tartar sauce, no cheese)



630 calories
23 g protein
70 g carbohydrates
30 g fat (5 g saturated)
4 g fiber
1,340 mg sodium



Throw the BK sandwich back — it has nearly twice the fat, more than twice the sodium, and 250 more calories.


For a personal-size pizza to go...

Taco Bell: Mexican Pizza



540 calories
20 grams (g) protein
47 g carbohydrates
31 g fat (10 g saturated)
5 g fiber
1,040 milligrams (mg) sodium

vs.

Pizza Hut: Personal Pan Pizza, Supreme



750 calories
32 g protein
73 g carbohydrates
36 g fat (15 g saturated)
6 g fiber
1,680 mg sodium



Both combine meat, vegetables and crisp crusts. But the Pizza Hut version is weighed down with 210 more calories, 5 g more saturated fat and 640 mg more sodium.


For a healthy fast-food meal ...

McDonalds: Grilled Chicken Asian Salad



380 calories
32 grams (g) protein
37 g carbohydrates
13 g fat (1 g saturated)
6 g fiber
1,570 milligrams (mg) sodium

vs.

Wendy's: Mandarin Chicken Salad



550 calories
30 g protein
54 g carbohydrates
26 g fat (3 g saturated)
6 g fiber
1,210 mg sodium



All salads are not created equal: McDonald's salad has 30 percent fewer calories and half the fat of the Wendy's salad.

For more information, check this out: http://health.msn.com/dietfitness/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100144434&GT1=8506

Poem of the day

Here I lie in stinky vapour
Some stupid idiot stole the toilet paper
Shall I lie or shall I linger
Or shall I be forced to use my finger

(Taken from SMK D.U.'s The Toilet Series)

The path of victory!

Khai, Bee, Nas and Oliver


Iqbal and Mr. Koh YOU BENG!

Ok, gotta get real serious in studies now! Even though I was serious all the while (maybe not too serious as in not as serious as to get 100%)NOW I AM! I can never reached the top if I ever get less than that!!! If William can score 29 out of 30, I believe I can get 40 out of 30! Might sound crazy to you but now that I think about it, my parents actually sacrificed so much for me, that's the least I get repay them for now. Like what coughing dragon (Sen Loong) said, with God's help and favour, nothing is impossible. Now, since I've said this and if I cannot achieve that, it will only make me a loser and a big talker. FYI, girls in KL or rather girls I met in KL weren't that bad. At least not as bad as Alvin told me! ha ha! It kinda makes me feel bad when losing to girls, even in studies. So I have no choice but to study since I'm such a sore loser. Just reminded me of something funny Siew Li told me today. Siew Li: "Jared! Your eye bags are so huge that I can gp shopping with them!". This made me wonder, why can the rest of the fellas (house/class mates) concentrate in class? We all watched football and late night movies together! But their grades were way better than mine! I can't answer that. But I know this can't go on like it's none of my business! *FYI, I am having two units in the same condominium block now! One on 8 floor which is also known as the Monster House and 4th floor with the rest of the jokers which is obviously a better place, moving out soon, once I get a fella to stay there, I'll be free from those crazy obasans...* gives me shivers* Anyway, the fellas were good. We made a 3 course meal of pasta, pasta and also pasta. The first 2 ones are okay... really nice but the 3rd dish... it was my fault. I told them to put in the whole can of tomato paste cause I don't wanna waste. But it was a great experience of cooking together and we had fun. I'll just take it as a practice, know I gotta put that in my romance list someday. Ok, this is getting pretty drag.gy and long-winded so I'll just end here. Story ends here but life goes on. Ciao and muaks.

My Life Is Brilliant

Every mornin is a wonderful morning. I'll wake up praising God and saying, "Ah, thank you Lord for giving me such a wonderful day. But why can't I just take a sleep a little longer?" Sometimes it just seems that my bed is softer and warmer in the morning, especially when I am getting up. I took my chem test recently and got a 0 and definitely not proud of it. Most of my friends think I'm always lazy and procrastinating and the truth is I think they're right. I end up doing nothing most if the time. Some friends once told me life is more than what you read in text books and I utterly agree with them.

My life is KL goes like this. I study study study for the first week and have been a really really good boy. But, it seems that something was missing. Still felt new that time, maybe a little lonely too. In the second week, I did study a little but started to get lazy. Finally from third week onwards, I just didn't give a d*mn.

But after all this bullsh*t that I gave myself, I felt guilty and I wanted to make a change and again, this was the time when God comes back into my life and plays an important role. I met really cool CF friends and they're all so so so nice. Even though I spend most of the time hanging out with them, I'm starting to learn how to make a better time table. Hopefully things can turn out better.

Watched Kung Pao with classmates back in our condo 2 days ago and today out again to watch Monster house with Tien (u know who), Jamie (cute girl) and James (nice guy). It's a happy and yet saddening case. Why? Because 1.The food d*mn expansive! 2.I have Physics test tomorrow and I haven't even started to study!!! You might already start to wonder why I still did that even knowing so and the reason is just because I never liked last minute work and so let it be a lesson to me. So I wish myself all the best *fingers crossed* and also study harder... maybe smarter. Actually nothing much to blog... Will try to keep updating... Head spinning... Better to get some rest and start hitting the books.

Grow up

Jared Chee has been rather pathetic. Still living in his small little fantasy world. Sometimes I just wonder, when can he grow?

Thousand apologies

Once again I would like to apologise for being too grumpy and spent too much time on my own grouses rather than practical issues.

My Careless Friend vs. Stupid Lady

After LAN (Malaysian Studies) test on Thursday, when Sen Loong and I were on the way back to Desa Kiara (with Sen Loong's car). It rained pretty d*mn heavily. A new nice looking Volvo infront of us suddenly breaked (almost/maybe full-breaked) and next I know is CRAAAASSSHH BAAAAAANG and luckily no KABOOOOOM! So I was freaked out and we stopped at Caltex/Carltex/Cultex... and the Volvo driver was a lady. My friend's car was pretty badly damaged but the Volvo was still fine, just a little squished in (with the the size of a thumb) just a really really really really minor defection yet the lady demanded for 1 to 2k with the reason wanting to send it back to the Volvo factory for repair instead of any ordinary mechanics (which apparently from what she mentioned to be really costly. She didn't even want to bring it to a mechanic that my friend knows... In the end that ************************** lady took 300 bucks from my friend and caused him a whole lot of trouble. Although it was my friend's fault but the lady could have at least be more considerate, cause she avoided knocking onto others but caused my friend to crashed her rear bumper. She just talked a lot bull and gave us lots of trouble, that's all. Not saying that my friend is right cause he was following close to the Volvo as well. That's all. The whole day was just a bad day. Guess I'll just sing the Daniel Powter song for the day.




What do you think, Grace? ;)

So lame, so what

Early morning, the birds were singing
I saw it was ten, but I didn't give a d*mn
I knew it was late, but nothing I can do... at this rate
tiring, tiring, tiring...
sad sad sad, but I told myself, Jared, this is not too bad
I always count myself blessed but I nvr appreciated ma gifts
In the end I give it all away to the thiefssssssss
If you ask me, am I alright?
I'll sing to you that lovely Sanctus Real song
I'm not alright, I'm broken inside, broken inside
But then come to think about it again,
why whine? why whine?
cause I've got sunshine!
I've got my family and friends!
I've got Grace Foo pushing me back
so you know I can't slack!
And most of all, I got a great BIG GOD!
Amen, my friend




I'm a One Piece fan ;)

Lifeless

I never hated anyone in my life, except for myself. I just don't know what to say. It just seemed that life has been so troublesome for me. I despise myself for what I do. I hate mistakes, especially if I'm the one making it. Yes, I have my own big ego but that just can't be helped. I tried my best to fit in or at least get along with others but it was just not right. People here are really good. Too good and that disturbs me. It makes me feel like the worst scumb of the earth. Maybe I should just be myself, but who am I? What is myself? Sometimes I rather not have any emotions. Maybe I'm better off without feelings, no doubts, no questions. Then it'll just be right or wrong.

time? Time? TIME?

Time? No time? What is time? How can I make full use of my time? Or rather would I ask how can I control time. Now I'm merely being a puppet being controled by time. All my work and studies. Tiring. Do I even get my own time of joining other clubs, societies and activities? None I can say. United Nations, maybe. French class, no. Spanish class, no. Toastmasters, no. Debate, no. This... no... that, no...
Can't even focus on studies...

Just letting out a little emotions

Letting time slips by and yet failed to realise that I had actually wasted another day. Being in the current class made me felt more stupid than ever. Not that I really suck big time, just that people there are too good. William the straight A1s scorer is already preparing for Cambridge, studying the requirements, applications and all. Khai Ken, Sen Loong and Wei Hsuen are working 10 times harder than I am now... every single one of them... Man, I'm even worst than Ashok. So I guess you can actually guess how bad it is. I hope Ashok doesn't see this. Even Nasuhar, Miran and those who are younger than me are doing better. I'm lost and utterly confused. Man, can I actually catch up with them? Maybe I'm too ambitious or maybe I'm pushing myself too hard and yet... I'm... I don't even have much time to study, how am I suppose to join other activities like fencing, french class and all? How am I suppose to...

Life is like a comic book

This was what I did when I came back to Ipoh (out of boredom)

Guess who these people are? =P

"chunness"

Life in HELP University College. Been there for 2 days. Switching from Yue Hua's place to Mike's place and from Mike's place to Yue Hua's place and to Mike's place again... Trust me, that wasn't easy at all. From Mike's place I will have to trouble "poor" Jyh Shyn to wake up earlier for work in order to send me to the Kelana Jaya LRT station. From there it goes on with a minimum of 1 and a half hours to get to HELP, including busses and a lot of walking. And I mean A LOT. Sometimes even have to stand for hours just to wait for a feeder bus or a free shuttle bus from Ikano in order to get to the destination. Go out at 7 and come back at 8 at night... life like this... sad. Hopefully everything will be smooth this Saturday when I move to Desa Ria or something. Won't have to trouble Mikey and Jyh Shyn (Jack Black) anymore. As for class or school, it was rather great for Orientation and today which was actually my first day of classes. Physics was kind of awesome, Chemistry was fantastic and Biology wasn't all bad but still have to admit there's a slight slip of boringness in between. The chicks were okay. So far I've got to know Kala which is actually Kogila :P from Kajang, Cynthia with a unique Korean name Soo Bee (well she's Korean of course), Yen How from Penang, Wei Hsuen and William from DU. Those were the fellas that I got closed to. Then I also got to know Nas (a cute gal, she's 16 and she looks kinda like Natalie Lee back in CGMC Ipoh. Most of the other malay guys sounded like Kerry and Duncan, most of them and I've got no idea why. Then I met this Han fella that looked like some cool fella from Jap comic books, tall and kind of cool looking. He actually finished his degree already and he wanted to do A levels and I obviously don't know why. And to spill some beans, many students were transfered from Taylors. Don't ask me why. Even Soo Bee was one of them and she's by few years older than me. So far so good, even though I've been kinda grumpy and fussy about certain things but I did learn a lot. And Mr. Jahn Cheah was right, there's no free lunch so far as I know. Do let me know if ya can find one. Last words before I shut my brain and go to bed, class is full of genuises... I was so "pai seh" leh(if that's right, which I mean by embarrassing)... couldn't answer most of the questions... lucky not many did :P anyway, all the best to me and of course, to you too la. So this is the report for now, goodnight to me and to you. Gotta wake up at 6 ... oh boy...

anyway, that pic was juz for fun.

Sorry for the delay and inconvenience

I'm currently away from home so I won't be able to upload many of my pictures. The other pics of One Night In JJ With Friends and also pics of A Printer Brightly will be delayed. I would also like to apologize for not being able to post quality articles due to a busy schedule. Sorry and thank you for supporting the Jared Chee's Into A New Chapter blog.

current building projects: Le Café De Détente (coming soon)

A Printer Brightly

Came back to Ipoh from KL for 2 days and this was what I did:



A Printer Brightly
pictures inspired by the movie A Scanner Darkly




A Scanner Darkly




The pic that inspired me




original pic


more pics to come (also next on how I drew those pics)

Something that I NEVER Thought Of!

So, this is what it's all about:
Hang out in Jusco after 12 am!

(the pictures below were stolen directly from DMK's blog =P)

The night started with Kenneth's birthday celebration in CoffeeBean...



We then proceeded to Keon's favourite place in Jusco apparently...

The rooftop



which I also realised something that I never thought of...

which is Catherine and Pei Shyen can be quite "chun"...





As for Andy and I...

I think my pose was kind of stupid... Andy as usual...



But still...

nobody could beat the innocent "kawaii" (cute) face of Kenneth!



slowly we went into Jusco...



and I couldn't hold my emotions back...

seeing the "chun babes" and drooling... Andy... why was he smiling to the camera?



Finally, I think I look kinda cool in this pic and Keon was in frenzy mode!

Andy as usual... don't know what he was having in mind...



This was suppose to be a cool pic... but I guess I tried too hard to look funny...



Now this is where things starts to get really cool...

the YUMMY SISTERS!... I mean... crispy sisters... popiah sisters... whatever...



and now, CHECK THIS OUT!

cool huh? can u imagine how this trolley can support our weight? Especially with Andy on it =P



NOW SEE THIS!



and when monster jumps in! THIS WAS WHAT HAPPENED!



ok, nothing really happened... just the priceless expression on Catherine's face =P

Now to the classics,

Everyone hop on to your vehicles!



Me riding on Jumbo saving the little boy... sucking my thumb at the same time...



Flying Kevin!



Check out the seriousness on Keon's face!



So much fun!



even though on his shirt says SPEED LIMIT, when Keon's on his MONSTER VEHICLE, he knows NO LIMITS!



so this is other side of Keon that some of us might not know =P



PRICELESS!

(more images to come, more images to be stolen from Keon soon!)

GOD Does NOT Want YOU to Be SICK

This is something that I found awesome. So I just took it from The TIME Global Health Blog.


Friday, Jun. 9, 2006

God Does Not Want You to Be Sick



a pic I drew

This was going to be an essay about sickness and sin, based on something Franklin Graham said to me (Christine Gorman) in an interview about his belief that Jesus would have healed people with AIDS but would also have told them to “go and sin no more.”

But then I got to talking with another minister—Scott Morris of the United Methodist Church—who also happens to be a medical doctor in Memphis, Tenn. and I decided to switch gears. (If you spend any time talking to ministers, you’ll soon notice that they’re often very good at getting you to think about something new.)

Morris believes that the church in the U.S. has, in many ways, forgotten how important healing was in Jesus’s ministry and in the ministry of Apostles. He founded the Church Health Center in Memphis in 1987, “to provide healthcare for the poor,” he says. “The reason we do it is because a third of the Bible has to do with healing the sick.”

Funded—to the tune of $10 million this year—by private donations and the faith community of Memphis and staffed with a lot of volunteers, as well as some paid personnel, the Church Health Center consists of a clinic and a wellness center (just don’t call it a gym!). The Center serves 45,000 patients and new enrollments have jumped 38% since last August because of cuts in TennCare, the state government’s healthcare program for the poor.

Morris told me that he saw fatalism as one of the more important issues in his medical practice with the working poor. He said that many of his patients—almost all of whom attend church regularly (they do, after all, live in the Bible Belt of the American South)—are reluctant to undergo treatment for diabetes or breast cancer or other illnesses because they think they will be going against God’s will if they do.

“I hear them say, ‘I’m sick because it’s God’s will,” Morris says. “That’s something I find very hard to keep quiet on. I absolutely don’t believe it’s God’s will.”

Other patients resist treatment saying, “My Jesus will take care of me.”

Morris tackles that sort of thinking head on, using words and examples that are very familiar to his patients.

“Look, what God wants is for you to have joy in your life and to experience life to the fullest,” he says. “Think of the woman who was bent over all her life. She looks at her feet for all her life. And it’s only after she is healed, when she is able to stand up, that she is able to look Jesus straight in the eye. And Jesus causes that to happen.”

And as for sin (in case someone were to bring that up), Morris cautions against focusing on one story from the Bible to the exclusion of all others. “The norm for Jesus’s healing stories is that he heals people without any other commitment,” he says.

You can learn more about the Church Health Center by visiting their web site or listening to a short (7-minute) interview I did with Morris below.

Since this topic is something of a departure for me, I'm particularly interested in your comments—good or bad, as long as they're respectful. All responses are moderated and I give preference to folks who post their real first and last name.

—Christine Gorman


Audio file not included.
(For more information, check out at The TIME Global Health Blog at:
http://time.blogs.com/global_health/)

who I was who I am what I did what I should do

Had a weird dream last night. I dreamt that I was put into different situations where I was tempted and tested in various fields. The people in my dreams turned out to be people from church and also my friends. The dream reflected who I am, allowing me to know my weaknesses and so forth. Things that I was afraid of and things that I'm confused about. I can't believe that I actually tried cigar cause I told myself that I will never do anything that harms myself. I did that because all the other people around me did that and I wonder if I am such an easy person to give in to what I know is not right. Most of all it also reminds me of the importance of God to me, I haven't do my quiet time for a really long time and I just don't feel like doing the "regular Christian" thing. I do feel tired and all but I also know that without that, I have no peace at all. I am still a selfish person and most of the things I do is because of myself. I hate myself but I still love me. I hate myself for who I am but I love myself because I am my best friend.

Losing my grip

Losing my grip and falling into a pit, how is it still possible for me to beat the endless skies? I really need to have self-control now. I need restrain myself from doing what I know I shouldn't. I've already wasted too much of my life and even as I keep telling this to myself, it still happens. I have to keep my promise... I have to hold on tight... to what is right even as I do not have a clue at certain times... Deep down inside, I still feel the presence of loneliness and I just can't beat it.

My Relationship with GOD is like

a kiddie works project :)

warning: this is not a real chart but just a simple illustration based on the original idea.

Oakley X METAL XX Sunglasses!!

Check this out!





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Those are actually the shades that Cyclops wore in X men!!!
Cool?!!!? I want one too!!!
But also, take a look at this one below:



How come it looks so much nicer?!!!
I want the real thing!!!

The 3rd wave - a question of faith

Today I had an experience of a kind that hit me real hard. It was the 3rd time that really put me into deep thoughts and realisation of things happening. Questions, the why considering facts, fiction, truth and believe, most importantly, the matter regarding faith. I have to be careful of what I think and what I am about to say, because what I am about to say is regarding religion. Christianity, what is Christianity? To be honest, I didn't really spend much time in the bible. I spent more time on movies and games or any other source of entertainment but never the bible. Hardly is what I can say. But, Christianity was never a religion to me, it's my life. Because I believe, I felt and I see the good and believed in the truth of it. Back to the point, I watched the Da Vinci Code in the cinemas just a moment ago. I was shocked of what I saw in the movie, terrified. I had questions in my mind, hundreds, thousands... it just kept going on and on throughout the show. Questions of what and why. What if it's true? Why did the author put it this way? Even though I knew it was just bullcrap but I still have the questions in my mind and I just can't help wondering why. Ever wondered why the author have to use Christianity? Have to drag in the name of Jesus? Why does he have to put it all in the way that it can confuse people, to drug their minds with uncertainty? Think about it, the story did mention religion and in all kinds of so called religion things. What is religion? Literally it is the belief in the existence of a god or gods, and the activities that are connected with the worship of them. To the world, Christianity might be a religon but I believe that to Christians, it is more than just that. It is the life that we are living in, the truth and what we believe exists. But still, there are non-believers out there who will, 2Tim 4:4 "And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables." Some people might ask for proof of existence. Not everyone seeks for the truth because what they want is facts. What is fact? Literally, fact means a thing that is known to be true, especially when it can be proved. But what if what is true is proven to be wrong? For an instant example, my sister hit me first but she proved to my mom with the red mark on her and none on me. Authorities that caught the wrong criminal with the facts that proved them to be true?Being driven by facts in an earthly thing to me but the truth is, who doesn't? We all want the truth, we all want to know and sometimes we rather believe in what we see and hear. To choose to trust our eyes. The real deal is not about the Da Vinci Code, not about us but our faith and what we believe that makes a difference. At least that is what I believe in. If I'm wrong prove it to me, correct me, at least tell me and let me think over about it. Another incident that occured after the Da Vinci Code was a near accident that almost happened to me. It was nothing much, at least not after what I heard from Tony about his accident sometime ago. My car's butt merely kissed the car behind me, there wasn't really anything that happened just two small tiny spots and I wasn't sure whether I did that. But still, obviously it was my mistake because I wasn't paying much attention, the alarm of my car won't go off. I couldn't use the remote control and the imergency disable button didn't work. So I tried to reverse the car and just as the alarmed stopped, I kept going without realising the fact that almost knocked on the car behind. I didn't even switch on the lights and all because I was nervous, about the alarm.I was afraid that it might get me into trouble, going out late at night and all... Thank God Keon was there and I wouldn't have stopped if he did not shout out. It took sometime to settle things out as Keon helped check out the condition of the car by using his torchlight and did the talking while I was shaking aside. I was so scared that I didn't even remember to say sorry. I did say in the end but it was Keon who reminded me. In the end I even asked him to drive my car back and Tien Tien drove his car. It was such a great embarrassment. Really made me felt like a big time loser. But I realised something at the same time, that God has been blessing me with wonderful things with His great ways. I get to have a friend like Keon and Tien Tien who helped me out during times I need and I need to stand strong in it. I meet challenges and problems and I learn to solve it and each time I grow and I learn and each time it brings me closer to the realisation that how much I needed God in life, in my life. To choose to believe is my right and when say it, I mean it. After all that I've been put through even as a small matter like this, it brings me up to a higher place, a stronger believe that I need God. When I have decided to trust someone, I've made my mind to trust him till the end, until the time when he admits that he betrayed me. To worry about the future even knowing that it will be secure is an act of turning away from it. I believe that I will meet Jesus face to face one day and that is what I believe in. The Da Vinci Code? Does that matter? What's next? The Picasso Code? If we doubt truth and be shaken by just a book what more can expect to achieve? To sum it all up, the world we are living in is a mess, a mess of uncertain facts and truth and to think about it, isn't this why God puts us here? It is a question of faith and the same reason of why we are here, being put through all these things.

(note: I'm not trying to offend the Da Vinci Code fans or anything but it is just a believe and opinion of mine that I am sharing, just like the author and do correct me if there is any part that you think is wrong)

DEATH NOTE plot outline &review

DETAILED PLOT OUTLINE from Wikipedia (warning:containes spoiler)





First Arc

Light Yagami is a young but bright high school student who has until recently led a boring and uneventful life. That changed very quickly when he found a strange notebook with the title "Death Note" lying on the ground one day in 2003. It wasn't until later that he realized that this "Death Note" was the tool of a shinigami (god of death in Japanese) from another world named Ryuk, and that it had the power to kill whoever's name was written on its pages, so long as the writer knew the victim's face as well so it won't kill anyone sharing the same name. Light realises his ability to kill whomever he wishes, and he uses it to begin a "cleansing" of the world from evil.

It does not take the police long to realise that somebody is responsible for the mysterious deaths of criminals, and he is then soon hunted by the Japanese police force and a mysterious detective known as "L". So as Light works towards his "perfect" world, devoid of crime and injustice, L works to catch the mysterious murderer, dubbed "Kira" (Japanese pronunciation of Killer) by the press and end the increasingly senseless deaths of criminals and anyone who gets too close to the truth. L and Light soon begin a cat and mouse chase to see who will be the first to have their identities exposed.

With the help of the FBI, L tracks down Light as a suspect and monitors him closely through the 64 video cameras and microphones installed in Light's bedroom. However Light quickly realizes that he's being spied on and plans several convoluted yet smart moves such as hiding a miniature TV, pencil and a piece of the Death Note inside a bag of potato chips to continue killing criminals without appearing to do so.

Although no evidence is found against Light and the video cameras are eventually uninstalled, L still suspects Light and enters the same university as him under the alias of Hideki Ryuga. After revealing his true identity to Light, L invites Light to join the investigation team in order to continue keeping an eye on him.

Later Light and L realize that there exists a Second Kira who, unlike the original Kira, is able to kill a person without knowing his name. After a series of investigation on the Second Kira, a girl called Misa Amane approaches Light and demands him to be her boyfriend in exchange of helping him against L. L eventually deduces the identity of Second Kira and imprisons Misa, who decides to give up her ownership of the Death Note and pass it to Light.

Under heavy suspicion and various evidence against him, Light voluntarily lets L imprisons him while passes one of the Death Notes to another person to ensure the continuation of 'Kira's action' and bury the other Note in a forest. By giving up the ownership, both Light and Misa lose all their memories related to the Death Note.

After a month or so L is forced to release Light and Misa by other members of the investigation team. However, still suspicious, L chains himself and Light together with handcuffs to keep an eye on him. With the help of Misa and other members of the investigation team, Light and L are able to track down the new Kira, Kyosuke Higuchi, and arrest him successfully.

When Light touches Higuchi's Death Note again, all the lost memories come back to him once more. He then kills Higuchi secretly and regains the ownership of the Death Note. Light then cunningly steers the investigation towards Misa again, forcing Rem the Shinigami to kill both L and Watari. Upon L's death, Light is nominated to act as L by the members of the investigation team.
[edit]

Second Arc

In Japan, the manga took a 7 week break before the second story arc started. It takes place in the year 2009, six years after the events in the first arc. Possessing the identities of both L and Kira, Light seems invincible now. With many people, even governments around the world declare their support to Kira, Light is about to reach his ultimate goal of changing the world.

However, one day someone who calls himself Near and who claims to be the true successor of L contacts Light and demands his cooperation in capturing Kira. Near and his rival Mello are two bright young orphans who are trained to succeed L in an orphanage founded by Watari. Although they split ways after L's death, Near and Mello both attempt to track down Kira through their own means. Mello joins some criminal gang in the US and obtains the Death Note by kidnapping Sayu Yagami. Although the Death Note is eventually regained by the Japanese investigation team, Mello is able to find out about some of the rules of the Death Note. Near on the other hand, gains the support of the US government and forms the SPK.

With certain information gained from Mello, Near suspects that the present L is actually Kira. Later, Near is able to deduce L's real identity from information he gained from Aizawa. Detecting the suspection, Light orders Misa to destroy all possible evidence against them and pass the ownership of the Death Note to Teru Mikami, the new Kira chosen by him. Light finally makes contact with Mikami through Kiyomi Takada, Mikami's chosen spokesman who incidentally was Light's girlfriend in college. Light approaches Takada and eventually confesses his true identity as Kira. Meanwhile Near finds out Mikami's existence.

Light instructs Mikami to write in a fake Death Note, and email a list of criminals to Takada each night. Takada is given sheets of Death Note to write the names on. Mikami's real copy of the Death Note is kept in a safety deposit box, which he would only use when told by Light. Near and the SPK observe Mikami's routine behavoir, and eventually gain access to his fake Death Note in his gym locker.

Both Light and Near decide to meet in a final confrontation that will decide the definite winner. Light is confident that Near has found the fake notebook, and will switch it with their own fake prior to the meeting. Suddenly, Mello kidnaps Takada to capture Kira, but Takada manages to kill him with a scrap the Death Note. Mikami learns about the kidnapping over the news and goes to the bank and uses the real notebook in order to kill Takada and destroy her evidence, unaware that Light possesses a scrap and does the same thing. The SPK notice his sudden change in behavior, and gain access to his deposit box where they find the real Death Note. By comparing the names written in the fake and real ones, Near learns of Light's plan to have Mikami carry a fake notebook to act as bait. Near replaces both notebooks with perfect copies.

Light and Near meet at the warehouse with their members. Light has arranged for Mikami to use his Shingami eyes and real notebook to kill everyone present except for Light himself. He does, as both Near and Light expect. Light confidently invites Mikami in, but time passes and no one dies. Mikami is apprehended by the SPK, and Near reveals that he has obtained Mikami's real copy of the Death Note ealier, and the fact that Mikami has not written down Light's name. Light finally confesses that he is Kira. He talks about the better world that he has created, but Near puts him down as a dictator and mass murderer. Light then tries to write down Near's name on a piece of the notebook concealed in his watch, but is shot by Matsuda.

In a last ditch effort to eliminate his opposition, Light begs Ryuk to write their names down in his Death Note. However, Ryuk sees his hopeless situation and decides to write down Light's name instead. Light pleads for his life to no avail as Near and the rest watch him die.

Afterwards, Near becomes the new L and takes command of Light's former men. They work together to stop a ring of normal drug dealers. The world realizes that Kira is gone, and crime increases again. Mastuda and Ide question the morality of stopping Kira, but are assured by the fact that they are alive today because Kira is gone. However, followers of Kira continue exist and worship his idea of justice.


My Review

Ya wanna die?
Death Note is the best manga (Japanese comics) I've read so far. I'm not the kind of person really into comics but this one truly got my attention. From Light Yagami's original intention of creating a better crime-free world to his obsession of being "god" and all around that happens just because of the notebook is pretty smart. Going through different emotions and feelings throughout the whole journey of the story, wonderful. Unexpected climax and mistery brought up great suspense to the story. The way the protogonist (who is also the bad guy of the story) acts to trick and outsmart the good guys is just smart. It just makes you want to read on. Unlike other mangas, people in this story don't have special powers, no overwhelmed reactions, infact it reflects our daily life in the society. It's all about the bad guys, the good guys, the smart guys, dumb guys, just people and last but not least the god of deaths and death notes. Best thing about Death Note, smart. Battle between geniuses, beyond imagination. Also, it makes you wonder if what the protogonist did was good. The thought of killing all the criminals to create a better world, does make sense but it's just nonsense. I mean, who doesn't make mistakes, you're going to kill everybody? rubbish. But the truth is, there are people who will do such thing and not to mention that Light Yagami did use the note to kill just to keep his dirty little secret. Again, Death Note is overall a fantastic even though there are some parts that aren't clear or close to realistic actions but still it's good. At least better than those comics that you don't even want to lay your hands on. There are also debates on about whether it brings bad influences to the children who reads this comic but I say, life is like this and this comic is good, cause bad guys always die in the end. That's all for now. Go read it yourself if you want to know more. By the way, Warner Bros will be releasing the movie on the 17 of Jun for the first arc and the 2nd arc in October.


Link to the official movie page: http://www.warnerbros.co.jp/deathnote/

Doofus

This one here is for Grace

(to enlarge right click on picture and click new tab if you're using firefox and just click on picture if you are using other programs)

School...

School for form 6 starts on Monday and I wonder if I really want to go. Won't stay there for long though but just want to go and have some fun. Actually I kind of wanted to have good memories of my school days but somehow I just didn't get much when I was back in Sam Tet. As memories flashed back in my mind, I realised that all the while I was comparing myself to others. I just didn't wan't to be left out or be weaker than others but of course, I was lazy. I have different kinds of friends but I didn't have many. Not the charismatic type of person. I have friends who can study all day long, friends who sleep through the class, friends who thinks about games and also friends who think only about girls. All sorts of people were from my class since I didn't come from a good class. Don't ever ask me about the history of my studies. Now all I want is just to focus on what I'm about to do, what I have to do, what is necessary.

How to Take Perfect Lecture Notes

How to Take Perfect Lecture Notes

Taking great notes is a lost art. Here's how to get the most out of a lecture, and have amazing notes to show for it.





Steps


Before the Lecture Begins

1. Prepare for the lecture so that you will be more likely to predict the organization of the lecture.

* Check the course outline to see if the lecturer has listed the topic or key ideas in the upcoming lecture. If so, convert this information into questions to be answered in the lecture.
* Before the lecture, complete outside reading or reference assignments.
* Review the text assignment and any reading notes taken.
* Review notes from the previous lecture.
2. Sit as near to the front of the room as possible to eliminate distractions.
3. Have a proper attitude. Listening well is a matter of paying close attention. Be prepared to be open-minded to what the lecturer may say even though you may disagree with it.

During the Lecture

1. Have your lecture paper and pencil or pen ready. The last thing you want to do is have your pen run out of ink, or your pencil break, without a backup (or a sharpener) ready.
2. Write down the title of the lecture, the name of the course and the date.
3. Listen carefully to the introduction (if there is one). By knowing his outline, you will be better prepared to anticipate what notes you will need to take. Decipher this outline by listening for:
* A topic for each section.
* Supporting points or examples for the topic.
4. Copy what's written on the blackboard and transparencies, especially the outline. To make sure you get everything, get in the habit of skipping words like "the" and "a" and make use of shorthand and abbreviations. Summarize your notes in your own words, not the instructor's. Remember: your goal is to understand what the professor is saying, not to try to record exactly everything he or she says.
5. Recognize main ideas by signal words that indicate something important is to follow. See the tip on signals below.
6. Jot down details or examples that support the main ideas. Take down examples and sketches which the lecturer presents. Indicate examples with "e.g." Give special attention to details not covered in the textbook.
7. If there is a summary at the end of the lecture, pay close attention to it. You can use it to check the organization of your notes. If your notes seem disorganized, copy down the main points covered in the summary. It will help in revising your notes later.
8. At the end of the lecture, ask questions about points you did not understand.

After the Lecture

1. Revise your notes as quickly as possible, preferably immediately after the lecture, since at that time you will still remember a good deal of the lecture.
2. During the first review period after the lecture, coordinate reading and lecture notes.
3. Review your lecture notes at least once a week. Also, review the lecture notes before the next lecture.


Tips

* Collect notes for each course in one place, in a separate notebook or section of a notebook.
* Write notes on one side of the page only.
* Use a loose-leaf notebook rather than a notebook with a permanent binding. See the pattern of a lecture by spreading out the pages.
* Use two pieces of paper, one as a draft, and one as your final notes or use the Cornell Notetaking Method to organize the revision and review of your notes.
* Enter your notes legibly because it saves time. Make them clear.
* Box assignments and suggested books so you can identify them quickly.
* Mark ideas which the lecture emphasizes with an arrow or some special symbol.
* When the teacher looks at his/her notes, pay attention to what they say next.
* Trade your "draft" notes with a classmate after each lecture.
* Incorporate different colors of ink, diagrams, drawings of your own. Make your notes your notes. Take advantage of how you learn (visually, aurally, or actively) and write/draw your notes according to that style.
* Watch for signal words. Your instructor is not going to send up a rocket when she states an important new idea or gives an example, but she will use signals to telegraph what she is doing. Every good speaker does it, and you should expect to receive these signals. For example, she may introduce an example with "for example" as done here. Other common signals:

o "There are three reasons why...." (Here they come!)
o "First...Second... Third...." (There they are!)
o "And most important,...." (A main idea!)
o "A major development...." (A main idea again!)
She may signal support material with:

o "On the other hand...."
o "On the contrary...."
o "For example...."
o "Similarly...."
o "In contrast...."
o "Also...."
o "Further...."
o "Furthermore...."
o "As an example...."
o "For instance...."
He may signal conclusion or summary with:

o "Therefore...."
o "In conclusion...."
o "As a result...."
o "Finally...."
o "In summary...."
o "From this we see...."
She may signal very loudly with:

o "Now this is important...."
o "Remember that...."
o "The important idea is that...."
o "The basic concept here is...."
* Consider splitting the page into two columns -- keep lecture notes on one side, and write questions that come up during the lecture on the other side. This will ensure that you don't forget any unclear points or questions that come up during the lecture, and will enable you to associate the answer with the relevant material when you find it later. Also, if you go to office hours, your professor will notice that you were paying attention in class, which will pay off in the long run.
* Consider buying a cheap tape recorder. Take in consideration the recording range of the hardware (on the package), the length of tape and the lecture, how big the lecture hall is, and how far away you will be from the lecturer.


Warnings

* Do not perform manual activities which will detract from taking notes. Do not doodle or play with your pen. These activities break eye contact and concentration. Although some people learn best while fidgeting (an active learning style), it is distracting to others. Therefore, if you learn best while doodling or tapping your foot, sit near people who do the same or who don't keep glaring in your direction.
* If you are gathering together your personal belongings when you should be listening, you're bound to miss an important point--perhaps an announcement about the next exam--or, at the least, insult the professor.


(article taken from WikiHow)

Maintaining something good is hard

This few weeks was rather worst than what I had before. I used to say I will live my life to the fullest but it just seemed that what I did wasn't even close to average. Someone once said to me that are are different stages of growing up and at times growing up does't mean by having a drastic change but also maintaining the standards. Many tried hard to reach a higher stage but instead slipped off and lost that standard. Now as I think back, I haven't done my quiet time for weeks, months. Never even touch the bible. What was I doing? It is true that I maintaining something precious is not easy and now I know why. Even if I did my quiet time, I wonder if it's truly from my heart. Pray, pray, pray. The thing I needed most now is to get back on the right track.

Untitled

People are weird, people are strange, people are just different. Each one of them. Every wonder why you are here living in this world? If you are still thinking over it, I suggest you stop wasting time. Because, the truth is infront of your eyes. Sometimes, we do not learn to appreciate until we lose that something and realise how we should have actually treasured that. Lives are fragile, the moment you saw someone, the next minute you might realised that he or she is gone. So before you can regret, why not make the move, take the opportunity to do what you have to. Make full use of the time you have. Learn and appreciate before it is too late. We give all we can each and everyday, we give out love and hope to receive the same. Sometimes we get what is right and we thank God because we are able to understand between what is right and what is wrong. Maybe the best thing for us to do was to do good and right before God's eyes afterall. Happiness and pleasures? It all depends on what it means to you. I regret for not making the past 18 years of my life the fullest but I will make sure that the other days of mine will because I'll never know when it is time for me to go.

Finding God in Dota?

Too bad the texture of the girls in the game didn't seemed to be this smooth and if only we can bring this matter to the consumer rights department... sounds familiar? I think so as well...


Have been playing online games for the whole week. Wasted my time seriously... Dota Dota and whack whack whack Alvin in Metro Wars. But where was God? Watched a documentary film entitled "Who Wrote The Bible". Of course, it ends well. Questions are a mess and the world is a mess. We are all living in a messy place and we our selves are messy too. But this is also a challenge God trusted us in. He puts us here and all that matters is the question of faith. Do you have faith? Faith is what I need know. I need to believe that God can bring me more. Going to church and doing things for God is better than billion times of Dota. I don't want to get stuck in a game. Life is already more a challenging game itself. If Dota is going to bring me stress then it doesn't serve it's purpose as a game and I find no point of playing. This is all for now. Sorry if I offended the Dota fans out there but I really rather be called a "noob" than to spend time studying Dota. Doesn't really talk much about finding God in Dota or online games but will mention that later.

More ringtones to download!

Robbie Seay Band
http://www.ringtonejukebox.com/search.asp?searchstring=robbie+seay+band

Zoe Girl
http://www.ringtonejukebox.com/search.asp?searchstring=zoegirl

Rebecca St. James
http://www.ringtonejukebox.com/search.asp?searchstring=rebecca+st.+james

Andy Hunter
http://www.ringtonejukebox.com/search.asp?searchstring=andy+hunter

I need CASH =)

Show me the money =P


Life after SPM or was rather boring and everyday is just a repeat of what happened a day before. I need something more. Something different. Travel around is what I wanted to do most but the problem is, where's the money. Don't want to get "fama" funding anymore. Can't find the right job. Pay for most jobs I can do now is only less than RM 1000 per month. Economic like this, how to survive? What can I do now? Think think... Still can't get the idea. You tell me if you know. I'm going to bed now. Adios.

What you look like through my eyes

We learn about gossips often, in church, in school or anywhere else in life. Most of us know that gossip isn't good and it won't be known as gossip if it is. Gossip is an informal talk or stories about other people’s private lives, that may be unkind or not true. When we talk about others behind their backs, we feel great. It sure is fun. Hot topic of the moment and yes it does bring up wild attention. But what some of us or rather most of us do not know is that gossip REALLY HURTS. Not you but the person being gossiped. Think about it, rumours spread just like wild fire and things might happen before one can even stop it. When you say something about someone, think if it's wise to say so. What you are telling might be true and might be not. If you are doing it for the wrong reasons like just finding a chat topic, then you are so wrong. If you are trying to warn others about a certain person, then make it right. Let's not talk about others if you think I'm always talking about others. Try imagine ourselves being part of a situation where people point at our backs and talk about us in the shadows. They smiled to you when you looked at them and just the minute you looked away, they start hiding themselves with their sleeves and start a dirty conversation about you. You were not far from there and you've heard all that they said. How would you feel? Think about it.

A reminder to myself,
I am not a wise person nor am I good or responsible but I'll still try to be my best.
I'll have to prioritise, I can't give all my time away to social and entertainment. Life is not just about myself and neither is it just for others. I chose to be a Christian because I chose to live for Christ. I do what is right in His eyes. Not your eyes, not my eyes. It is true that some have the skills to live among others, to be with others. So called the ways of living in the real world some said but what is the real world? Different people have different definition to it I guess.

I see the dirt in your eye *grins*

Quotes of the moment:

"Don't look for flaws in others because you'll only know how it feels like when it happens to you."

In Luke 6:41 says:
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

Often do we judge by what we see infront of our eyes not getting to understand the big picture of it. We tend to put the blame to others most of the time. Not much can we say when people tries to fault us but it is always wise to stay humble and be as we are. If you're trying to gain one's respect, try respecting others first. Sometimes people judge you according to the way you judge them. So be wise and think carefully before you try to make a sound.

Fun Cooking with Jared >01<

This is what you can do if you get hungry at night.



Dish of the Day: Super Ramen in Cup with leftovers!

Ingredients: Ramen in the cup, leftovers, boiled hot water
Instructions: 1.Unpack the cup ramen, leaving a slight opening to the foil.
2.Pour in hot water and close up the foil. Wait for few minutes.
3.Serve with leftovers once the noodles are cooked.

Food quote of the day:
"How to succeed without food?" ~JaredC

Remember to stay tuned with me next time for another episode of Fun Cooking with Jared.
That's all for now and have a nice time cooking =D

Defining SUCCESS

What do you know about success? What is success to you? How do you see success? You see and hear about success. You read successful stories of others but what is success to you? What is your personal definition for success?










This is an OPEN DISCUSSION. Feel free to leave comments.

Ringtones to download

Check out these ringtones:

Passion Ringtones: (US only)
http://interactive.emicmg.com/passion/passion_ringtones.png

Steven Curtis Chapman Ringtones:
http://www.midiringtones.com/search/default.aspx?cmd=
PrimarySearch&args=steven+curtis+chapma

Just before I say goodnight

CC

Your Scholastic Strength Is Innovating

You are the master of new ideas, techniques, and ways of looking at things. You are talented at structuring thoughts, decision making, clarifying, and making deadlines. You should major in: Marketing Psychology Desgin Cognitive Science Economics Photography

What Should You Major In?

and now GOODNIGHT

Understanding the true meaning of relationship

This is a JaredChee copyrighted image because I drew it by myself and I'm proud of it ;) but u can take it if you want under a condition that you have to be true to love


Okay, this should be the last post for today. Out of things to write now. Just read some pages from the book The Rich Single Life sent by Jia Yunn to me last night and found it really awesome. Reminded me what I had in mind just days ago. Again, maybe it was only the spur of the moment that made me thought I needed someone to care for me. To be more specific, a girlfriend. But the truth is, what I did not realise was there are a lot more than that. There was plenty infront of me more than what I ever asked for. Friends, friends that cared about me. Instead of treating other girls as a potential girlfriends, I remembered the good times I had with my sisters in Christ. Joshua Harris found the richness of true friendship discovered the wonders of it when he trusted God's plans and timing. Why do I fear to look at girls in the eye? Because I fear what they think about me. The fear of being rejected because of not being good enough. I believe a true friend will not judge one by looks or abilities or status but instead the being of that person. The discovery of true friendship and being with the right soulmate means more than dating 100 girls. Just like what Alethea said to me some time ago, being a friend to another person enables me to be natural and to be myself instead of thinking ways to hold myself together with that person (Alethea's words wasn't that eloquent but it was put to a simpler form for better understanding =P and this one is for you so don't be jealous of Sandra. Okay? XD)
Tien Tien once said to me, "what you don't get after all the hard work and continuous attempts might because it wasn't the best for you." "God will never give you what is second best because He only wants the best for you." Loneliness is an abstract formed by the feeble mind. To prevent that from happening, always remember to read the "Manual of Life" and put it into practical use. Stay healthy by eating healthier and getting enough rest and exercise.

Only a person who is true in love deserve the picture above :)

Crash

"Crash" is a great movie with a sense of touch that leaves a great impact in each viewers life. The movie portraits the world we are living in and how every single individual plays a part in it. We come across others' life each and everyday and having to face communicating with one another whether we like it or not. Every single being plays a part and each move we make, determines what will happen next. There are various actors and actresses in this incredibly smart and edgy movie, amazingly portraits the individuals of the story. In LA, you brush past people, people bump into you and a plots follows by after that. To feel the touch of crashing into another person. To live out this life. Crashing into others can never be avoided. Each and every move we make matters and it determines the future. That's my perspective of what I got from viewing the movie.

A smile on the face

This one is dedicated to a very special little girl, Sandra Ong. Sandra is a kind and spirited girl. I met her last year but only got to know her better recently. She's always willing to help and she does talk a lot. Not in an annoying way but she's kind of cute though. One of her best features would be her sense of humility. Talking to her makes me comfortable. She's just natural and true. Being young is great. When you still think not much of problems and you can laugh at all that happens all you want. When I see Sandra, I see a girl full of energy and with that smile that's always hanging on her face, it's just great. It made me smile too. I realised that the best happiness that truly comes from the heart is to see others being happy.

Shawn Mcdonald's story by Melissa

LET IT FLOW…THE PURELY ARTFUL MUSIC OF SHAWN MCDONALD

Shawn McDonald is a serious musician/photographer who believes that the journey and
evolution of a person is the highest, most pure form of art. He organically creates his work to flow
through his own life into his music and everything else that he does, including the creation of the
thoughtful production of a national spring tour to support his March release, RIPEN. “I feel like I
am a person who has art in me and I can’t be anything else. For some reason that’s when I come
alive…when I make art and when I make music. It’s when I truly thrive,” McDonald explains.
The making of RIPEN is another example of the genuine, stirring approach Shawn brings to his
music. Reviews of the recording have been strong and reflective of that. “He (McDonald) is
staying true to his words, and not relying on overproduced music to stand in for message…it’s a
good effort by a talented artist using his inspiration that should be universally respected,” says
TheCelebrityCafe.com.
When Shawn was putting the music and lyrics of RIPEN down on tape, musicians would just drop
by the old house where he was recording, spending late nights experimenting with a host of
instruments that Shawn had acquired from eBay and yard sales…one-stringed ‘somethings’ from
an Indonesian Timor guitar to a broken piano he found at a local thrift store. Shawn and his
newfound friends worked and played, getting some amazing sounds on tape. The original sounds
flowing from those late nights created RIPEN, and the stunning interludes effortlessly connect the
songs magically…beautifully. “We had a lot of artists and a lot of talent in that room… I would say
that four or five of the songs were written in the last week of the recording, just kind of happened
on a whim because we were just messing around in the studio,” McDonald says.
Shawn is finding that there’s an audience following, quick at his heels in their own search for
honesty and authenticity, not only in the art and music that they enjoy but also in life. RIPEN,
McDonald’s third recording, is a reflection of the willing, purposeful, artful expression of a musician
and lyricist who is living life fully and believes that there is beauty in music, and considers the
gathering of those like-minded as a community.
The truth is that Shawn’s community has changed dramatically over the past seven or eight years.
He grew up in Eugene, Oregon…too quickly and without his parents in his life. Shawn was full of
rage, and staring down the barrel of nine felony charges for possessing, growing, manufacturing
and dealing marijuana, LSD, crank and a host of other controlled substances. The turning point in
his own life came after his second bust on drug-related charges. With nine felony counts hanging
over his head, he knew that life was crashing down around him. He tried in vain to find spiritual
answers in Rastafarianism, Hinduism, and meditation.
At his lowest point, Shawn finally offered up a desperate prayer: “God, I don’t know who You are
or where You are, but I need to find You. Whoever You are, show Yourself to me.”
Pulling out an old Bible, Shawn stuck his finger in and began reading. As he read a passage from
Matthew, he sensed that God was warning him to clean the drugs out of his life, and that the
police could be coming back. Shawn immediately got rid of everything. One day later the police
arrived with a search warrant. Shawn was convinced that God had indeed spoken to him. In
thanks, he began to worship, and as he did so, Shawn had a personal encounter with the Spirit of
God that permanently changed the direction of his heart and life.
Shawn was once notorious for the special kind of trouble he caused. He was the kind of kid most
people had written off as hopeless. Nowadays he’s recognized instead for his ingratiating and
disarming transparency and for his sparse, eloquent, laid-back musical style, his lyrics full of hope
and his ability to intimately draw in his own community of fellow travelers.
Shawn’s personal story is a moving testimony of abandonment, despair, hope and redemption
and he molds his songs from that same block of clay, creating a connecting point and opening the
hearts of hundreds of thousands who hear his music.
Supporting the release of RIPEN, McDonald has put together a traveling art community and is
joined this spring on his first headlining tour by fellow musician Warren Barfield, Indy artist Alli
Rogers and painter, Scott Erickson, who will craft on canvas during the concert. Thanks to the
Transpire Project, local artists will have the opportunity to showcase their art on one of five easels
being provided in the lobby at each concert. The tour is slated as an intimate evening in colleges,
universities and churches from Seattle to Tulsa.
“We’re going to try and do our own thing...hopefully some type of experience for people and
something they haven’t seen before.” He continues, “At the same time it’s not about coming to
see something different, but more about coming and being a part of our family.” Bringing with him
an uncommon approach to building the set list, McDonald & Co. are able to offer fans in each city
a distinct evening of artful expression.
Shawn McDonald writes about the spiritual and temporal in a way that brings both to the heart of
the listener. He writes about the beauty in this world and the people who make it beautiful. The
lyrics are for people seeking words to express their joys and pains, as well as a soundtrack to
their lives. McDonald writes these lyrics into a chorus that invites us all to sing along, with our
voices, our feet, our brushes and our pens – whatever the medium, just SING.

Jared jaded

I'm tired. I feel like a pathetic freak. I can no longer be like usual. Usual wasn't that great either but now is just worst. My eyes are dry, running out of tears to cry. I don't know what to do. I don't like being controlled over and all I want is to be free. I don't want to be questioned. All I want is that people to be with me. I don;t want to be lonely. I want to be free. Free like the wind. Blowing from a place to another. I just want to be understand. I need someone who can understand how I feel. I tried to be the best but always ends up being worst than the rest. I hate myself, more and more. I hate being a loser. I am a loser. A sore loser.

1 out of 6.5 billion

There are more than 6.5 billion people out there in this world and I used to believe that there is only one mate that is compatible to me. Maybe I still do or maybe I was confused. It was the spur of the moment when I thought she was the one and I still believed she is. No matter how many times I tried to give up, to let go but I still can't. I tried to think about others but the feeling still goes back to her. Was I being stubborn? Was it caused by my naivety? Back when I was still in form two, I thought girls were boring I was never interested at all when most of my friends were really into girls. I wonder why I am so obsessed with girls now? Well, most girls are kind and gentle and willing to listen compared to guys. I don't know why but it seemed so to me and yet I still fear to be with girls. I dare not hurt their feelings and I dare not get too close or even look at them too often. Did all these happen because of my own naivety or was it the feelings I used to have towards her? Why can't I let go?

It was early in the morning that I went jogging after I woke up from bed. It was really peaceful and quite but as I jogged longer, it seemed bored to me, I felt lonely. There were only a few people jogging around the area. Later when I went for breakfast I saw couples around my age all over the place and guess what, I was really jealous. Maybe I was lonely afterall even though I tried not to admit. Somehow I pity myself. I never had a relationship with anyone. Never went out for a real date and I've never touch a girls hand. She did hold my hand for few times but it was nothing but a great friendship even though it felt just great. I also thought being friends were the best and I shall only be with the one I like but what is this feeling I'm having now? Am I really that obsessed with girls? Why? Because I have no one to share my happiness and sadness with? No one to be true and I can truly open up my heart to? Why? Why do I fear? Why do I feel this way? I don't know.

Silence

Enjoy the silence


Ever wondered why we're born with a pair of ears and only one mouth? That is to remind you to shut up and listen when someone else is talking. There are people who thinks that communicating means talking and only talking. If you think of it that way, then you're so wrong. The more you talk, the more mistakes you make. Just be quite when someone else is speaking and wait for your turn to talk. Sometimes being quite infront of someone is an act of showing understanding and it might just be the best help you can offer to a friend in need. The act of showing that you are there for them and not to burden or confuse them with your own piece of mind. Say what is necessary and waste no time on trying to show how smart you are or how well you can speak. Being a person like this is no more than being a person who only finds fault in others and not able to see what they themselves have done wrong.


Luke 6:42

Or how are you able to be saying to your brother, ‘Brother, allow [me], I will take out the speck, the [one] in your eye,’ [but] you yourself do not notice the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First take the log out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck, the [one] in your brother's eye.


Stop being self-centred and you don't need to show others how smart you are because they will notice that if you have true wisdom. I was once a sore loser that really wanted to be part of what is known as the best. There were times when I talk and talk non stop not being realised that I made a lot of mistakes and ended up making a fool out of myself. People appreciate what's from the heart and not made up cockamamies. Say what you think is necessary. Use your mouth wisely.

End of blogging

It ends here. Got to take a break. Found no reason for me to blog. I'll just stop for now till I find the reason for me to blog. Bye.

SICK

A lot of people are sick today. I mean I knew quite some people or friends who are sick today... Some of them never wanted to be sick, some of them did nothing to deserve to be sick and some just asked for it... I too am sick... Why am I sick? Because I asked for it... and now I have to pay the consequences and deal with it... Currently having headache, flu and stomach ache... hurts so badly...

Leaving again...?

Sigh... I just knew my friend came back from Australia. Well, kind of have a strange feeling days ago and yeah, Zhu Whee did ask me about it. Seeing her leave for the first time was hard enough. Can't bear to see her leave again so I rather think she's still there right now. Yea. Sounds stupid and naive isn't it? But too bad that is just me... yea... I'm Jared Chee...

lonely...

I can't believe that I actually feel lonely... so lonely... Maybe I do want problems in my life... I don;t know. Now I just feel so empty inside... I want something more... I still haven't achieve anything...

Justify?

Sometimes we do what we think is right but it is actually not. Often we do not or rather not listen to others' advices. Being a friend is not just about advising them but most importantly listen to them and that's utmost even in the toughest situation. We have been given the ability to think but most of us think only of ourselves but not others. Every idea counts but only the right one matters. I once totally lost respect for myself, not because of what I do but because of what I think. I was so self-centred that I only cared about my opinions and I was humbled. There I learned to respect others and became better. Sometimes I do hate myself for my own foolishness, especially when I discriminate others, in heart. I make the same mistake just as others do, who am I to judge them for I am no better than them.




Comic character from the comic Death Note. Someone who cares more about what he thinks rather than what really matters.

Sore loser

There are people who have asked me million times of why I gave them an impression of being a loner. I have no idea how to answer this question but maybe because I just prefer to be alone most of the times. I tried to do different things and ended up being worst or maybe turning into an annoying person. I often get annoyed by others even though I never show it but it's still inside. That is why I know how it felt like. Relationships? I'm tired of it. How is that possible because I never even had one? It's because I am tired of chasing around in circles. I want to play the game fair and square. Worst case, I want to win so badly that I became a sore loser.




Comic character from the comic Death Note. A sore loser who can never afford to lose.

Better?

I wept because I have no shoes to wear until one day when I saw someone without feet.
Have you ever heard of this?
Often will I complain about things that I don't have and at times I'll really get jealous over what others have but I don't. I did wonder why, why things unpleasant happened to me and of why some people were born better than me. But when I came across the real meaning of why God put us here, I realised how blessed I was. There are people out there whoe much wealthier and healthier than me but still there are also those who are suffering from poverty and illness. It will never end if we compare ourselves to others. So what more do I still have to complain?

today is today

You are the potter and I am the clay, mold me and make me is what I pray


Today is today and it is a very special day,
for today is today and I've lived to see this day.

Why have I always been looking back on the past. What has done was done and there is nothing I can do to change the past but only to renew my mind and be sure of what to be done in future. Some mistakes are not all avoidable. Being stuck in the past is just like a human struggling in chains wanting to be freed. Why struggle so hard where you can search for keys and tools or even ways to get out? We are merely humans but those who have the holy spirit also have the wisdom. The wisdom beyond imagination. A great wisdom, a wisdom from God. Becoming a Christian requires change. We must remove old habits and develop new ones. To change from failures to what leads to success. Change? How to change?

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.
~ 2 Timothy 3:16,17 ~

Knowing the changes to make is not enough. The important thing is how to do it. Guidance from God's word is what we need and it is what motivates and brings us forward.

I NEED TO CHANGE BUT CAN I? or I NEED TO CHANGE AND I CAN

Tomorrow

There was a reason for why it was such conventional plot
that this love should ever be forgot
The winsome smile that I seemed to have eternally sought
thinking that it was what love begot
The truth is that I just can never say I love you
that is because I want the best for you
The wound of my heart that I have always been hoping to heal
thinking too much of it makes me ill
These feelings might not go and at times leaving just sorrow
the bitter sweet I can never swallow
Today and after comes tomorrow and that heals the sorrow
that is if it only comes the morrow


It's hard for feelings to just leave and be forgotten. This is how I currently feel and it was what I always felt. But it is also what I should put aside for best of it.
Forgive me if it sounds too harsh but these are the words that comes from my heart.

Very Tired

Over the mountains and the seas, your river runs with love for me...


그 산이 얼마나 높은지 몰라요 (The mountain is very high)
geu san ee ul ma na noh peun ji mol la yo... but I will reach the top because I believe that no mountain is too high for me if my faith is strong!

Even though I'm tired, I pray that you'll make my feet gets stronger. Even as I hate myself for walking towards wrong directions, I pray that you will show me the right way. You are the compass of my life.

~This idea came to me when I was studying Korean. For all those who are currently feeling hopeless and tired now, this is for you.~
~Jared

Feelings

I am JC and I love JC because JC first loved JC!

Finding someone you like and someone that you want to share you life with might take time. It may be months or even years and it also takes time to develope love and feelings. There are times that we might think that a certain person is a lifetime soul mate we wanted but still could not be together. That means, it is just not God's will to be done. God knows what is best for us, He knows who will be one with us for it was planned in the very beginning. It is said in the book of Genesis where God made Adam and Eve. A woman was made out of man's flesh and therefore they are one.

"Then the man [Adam] said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman [Eve], because she was taken out of Man". Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh" (Genesis 2:23-24, RSV).

Tien Tien once said to me, "No matter how hard you try and still couldn't be with this person, that might be God's plan for God's knows what is best for you and even though it might be second best, God will never give it to you. God wants the best for you and only He knows what is best."

There are times where we need to wait, to be sure. It might not be now but in future. To do the right thing, we need to understand God's will. Do you date a person because you wanted to do so? Because that person looks good to you? Because you have feelings for he or she? Because of... and so... Have you ever asked questions like this before? I did and I'm glad I did. If there are things I should be glad of what I've done, it should be believing in Christ and doing this. Knowing God's ways is important. So that we will not end up doing it in the ways of the world. I am willing to wait. Are you?

A conversation with worm!

Title: MUST REMEMBER!


stupid boy said:
I want to get into Harvard if I go US!

worm said:
who doesn't

worm said:
u know wat to work on before u go?

worm said:
isn't reallly studies... its ur foundation in righteousness and god

worm said:
cant stress this more

worm said:
so remember


Must remember what worm said! IMPORTANT! (Worm = King Pui(HUMAN)

I received something today! Just as I thought it was not coming, it came! Waited for one whole month but still worth it ;)
This is something that I want to share with all the other people around, especially people who support ORIGINAL CDs! Say no to piracy! (TAK NAK!)


I was almost bored to death at home and as I was wandering around...




My mom told me I had a mail so I went over to get it and I saw...




It was a...




And inside I found a...



Narnia OST!


and a...



Vicky Beeching promotional CD!

check out the CD, it will only be released in stores December 26th 2006!




and also...




read this :) and check it out =P


It's all for free!
You just love it don't you! So check it out today! Support CHRISTIAN BANDS and ORIGINAL CDs! Also help promote their projects and albums @ http://www.themovement.fan2band.com/index.php NOW!

CHRISTIAN BANDS RAWK and most of all JESUS CHRIST!

Spice up your Day :)

What do you think of Christians?

A woman was asked by a co-worker, "What is it like to be a Christian?" The co-worker replied, "It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then he cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc., and then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

The kind of girl that I like

For you people who kept asking me who I like especially you, this one here is for you since I don't feel like teaching Spanish now =P


I like girls who/who are/will:

Christians who love God,
share feelings with me,
kind, caring, loving, joyful,
polite, compassionate, forgiving,
appearance doesn't really matter,
I have feelings for.

Does that satisfy you? =P

Learning SPANISH with Jared :) Lesson 1

Spanish Countryside


Learning SPANISH with Jared :) Lesson 1


Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I lost all my Spanish notes in my PDA... but nevermind, cause I have brains ;)


Today you'll learn:

1.How to speak in Spanish... DUH
2.How to read Spanish... Du.h...
3.How to write Spanish... okay that's enough

So now you know what your going to learn today.

First of all, you will need to know some basic vocabulary and it's pronunciation.
But before I start, I'll let you know why it is important to learn Spanish.
1.Espanol people are very cool! YAY...
2.So that you can actually talk to hot Spanish girls when or maybe ONLY IF you meet one...
3.Most importantly, you can order food in a Spanish restaurant or...
4.Whatever...


Back to where we were,

This is what you MUST know in order to master the Sounds of Spanish:


The good news about Spanish pronunciation is that it obeys clear phonetic rules, although people do speak with different accents, depending on their region and background.


Vowels

Each of the five vowels has its own clear sharp sound:

a as in hat
e as in pet
i as in feet
o as in clock
u as in drew


c's and z's

The famous Castilian lisp, that sounds like the English 'th' in thick, is applied to ce, ci and z. You find it in centro, plaza and in names like Cibeles and Preciados. Latin American and southern Spanish speakers, though, pronounce these sounds as an 's'.

When c is followed by the other vowels it's always a hard 'k' sound, as in calle, Cuenca, Colombia.


j's and g's

J, as in Jardines, is a harder, stronger version of the English 'h'.

G, when followed by e and i, sounds exactly the same as j. Otherwise, it is pronounced as the English 'g' in go.


ll's

The double ll, as in calle, is another characteristic Spanish sound. In most parts of Spain it's like the 'lli' in the English million.

END OF SOUNDS OF SPANISH


Lesson will continue later... tomorrow maybe... I'm tired so that's all for now! ;)
¡Gracias! ¡Adiós!

Why my blog?

I guess many of you... actually not many... that's why... Nevermind, I know some of you who had visited my blog must have wondered why you were here and why were you reading my posts. So now I'm telling you, that this place will not just be a place of devotional chat but also educative and entertaining. So just sit back and relax. Enjoy what you can find here and spread this blog to others around cause from now on it will be less about me and more about the world, about you. I know you like the idea of that. Just admit it =P Most of all, I have MASSIVE UPDATES! xD

I'll try my best to make this place a place where you feel like hanging all day. I'll make you eat, sleep... and do whatever here =p ha ha ha ha ha ha ha huh? Just what was I talking about? Nevermind. I hope that this blog will help.

Mrs Ting phoned me!

Mrs Ting phoned me just now, was pretty shocked at first. Actually I couldn't remember who Mrs Ting was cause I was just thinking of something else. When she asked me what I got for my BK paper, that's when I got strucked back to reality. I'm not telling what I got for BK paper but I did told Mrs Ting and it was great embarrassment. She then tried to comfort me by telling me it should be my co-curriculum and work in school as a prefect. It wasn't all that actually, I did not manage my time well and I was pretty much lazy as well. Regrets again eh... She continued the conversation by asking me what plans I have and I mentioned college and A levels and that I might consider doing it in HELP. Mrs Ting agreed that it's a very good college and I think if not mistaken it's also a Christian based college? No idea. But man, do you know how far it is? It's in Damansara... isolated from the real KL... Well, guess that also means less entertainment but in a good way, more study time and lower living cost( I think). So, that's all for now. Adios.

Lyrics of the day

Come Holy Spirit


Come Holy Spirit fall on me now

I need your annointing come in your power

I love you Holy Spirit, you're captivating my soul

and everyday, I grow to love you more

I'm reaching for your heart

you hold my life in your hands

Drawing me closer to you

I feel your power renew

Nothing compares to this place

where I can see you face to face

I worship you

in Spirit and in Truth

Nice songs

Our Love Will Always Last (English Version) - Save Your Last Dance For Me OST




Give My Love (English Version) - Save Your Last Dance For Me OST

Fun stuff of the day

Your IQ Is 105

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Above Average Your General Knowledge is Above Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Does that mean I'm not logic...

Your Dating Purity Score: 100%

You are an innocent dater. You're either lacking in dating experience or have had a long serious relationship. Either way, there's still plenty of fish in the sea out there for you to sample!

Dating Purity Test

I am :)

You Should Learn Spanish

For you, learning a language is about career advancement and communication. Knowing Spanish will bring you tons of possiblities for jobs and travel. Bárbaro!

What Language Should You Learn?

I like Spanish!

You Are 40% Open Minded

You aren't exactly open minded, but you have been known to occasionally change your mind. You're tolerant enough to get along with others who are very different... But you may be quietly judgmental of things or people you think are wrong. You take your own values pretty seriously, and it would take a lot to change them.

How Open Minded Are You?

hmmm...

Your Blog Should Be Green

Your blog is smart and thoughtful - not a lot of fluff. You enjoy a good discussion, especially if it involves picking apart ideas. However, you tend to get easily annoyed by any thoughtless comments in your blog.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

pretty true, maybe that's why I've chosen green? LOL

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

have to admit this is pretty true about me

You Are 60% "Average American"

You are average because you donate to charity. You are not average since you live more than three miles away from McDonalds.

How "Average American" Are You?

I'm American? LOL

Your Career Type: Enterprising

You are engertic, ambitious, and sociable. Your talents lie in politics, leading people, and selling things or ideas. You would make an excellent: Auctioneer - Bank President - Camp Director City Manager - Judge - Lawyer Recreation Leader - Real Estate Agent - Sales Person School Principal - Travel Agent - TV Newscaster The worst career options for your are investigative careers, like mathematician or architect.

What's Your Ideal Career?

but I like science...

You Should Drive a Saturn Sky

You're sleek and smooth, and you need a car to match your hot persona. Besides, sometimes you want your top up - and sometimes you want it down.

What 2007 Car Should You Drive?

nice nice... I wish I get that next year...

You Are Marge Simpson

You're a devoted family member who loves unconditionally. Sometimes, though, you dream about living a wild secret life! You will be remembered for: your good cooking and evading the police Your life philosophy: "You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

The Simpsons Personality Test

I'm a guy...

Your Porn Star Name Is...

Magic Johnson

What's Your Porn Star Name?

I thought he was a basketball player?

Your Monster Profile

Mad Ogre You Feast On: Starbucks You Lurk Around In: The Backseats of Cars You Especially Like to Torment: Cops

What's Your Monster Name?

MONSTER!

Your World View

You are a fairly broadminded romantic and reasonably content. You value kindness and try to live by your ideals. You have strong need for security, which may be either emotional or material. You respect truth and are flexible. You like people, and they can readily make friends with you. You are not very adventurous, but this does not bother you.

What Is Your World View?

is it?

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

maybe...

You Are Bobsledding

You're not a world class athlete, but you are a world class maniac. Your need for speed could have you blazing past the finish line!

What Winter Sport Are You?

zooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom

Your Musical Tastes Match: Jennifer Garner

See her whole playlist here (iTunes required)

What Celebrity Matches Your Taste in Music?

she's hawt!

Who Should Paint You: Pablo Picasso

Your an expressive soul who shows many emotions, with many subtleties Only a master painter could represent your glorious contradictions

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

wow

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle. But you may be ready in a couple of years. You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment. And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

like many women, love one woman

You Are 19 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v327/oldskoolicon/icons/singto.jpg

I'm 18


That's enough for now...

My drivng (PLEASE READ THIS)

It's a whole wide world out there and I've already faced so much now at this one small spot that I can hardly stand it. How can I explore the world?


What I'm having in mind now, "Can I ever succeed?".


I've been away from my blog for days ever since I got my results for SPM. I was also busy preparing for college, looking for informations all over. Today, after hearing what Kit May shared about her driving in church, I felt a huge adrenaline rush in me and I drove Andy's car again, on the roads of course. I drove back home and back to church and later to Seven Eleven. Again I drove Andy's car to refuel his car but this time with Alvin beside me, not Andy. It was all okay except for the part when I did a quick turning back into church from the main road. A middle aged Chinese man got down from the car (a Toyota mpv with the number plate *** ****), he stopped his car just at the entrance of the church. Alvin went down first and I walked down once I switched off the engines. As we walked towards the angry man, he started talking loudly asking who was the driver and Alvin spoke out first, that's what he always does. He said something like, "it's okay, my friend here was just learning how to drive." Well, that was obviously not okay to him. I was still reconstructing words in my mind as he said that. How can one possibly tell an angry fellow that it's okay when it's not. Then the man became angrier and he said, "How dare you talk to me like this and you standing like this, you want fight? You think you are so great because you are taller and bigger in size than me? You think you are so tough?" (in Cantonese followed by a lot of harsh words). Then he asked us who was the driver and I said it was me. The angry and frustrated man told Alvin to leave and they started quarreling and the man looked as if he wanted to start a fight, actually both of them did... The man asked Alvin if he wanted a fight and what Alvin told us later what he had in mind was he's single and the man had his wife and children in the car so he did not mind... what is this man?... ridiculous... The man said a lot of thing like, "You want to play with me? I'm not afraid of you. Who do you think you are? I can even melt you." Alvin kept trying to explain what he meant and said sorry, maybe it was his gesture, posture and voice tone that made the man so mad. The worst part is that he took down Andy's number plate... come on man, that's Andy's car. I just wanted to learn my driving as the test is so near and I desperately needed more lessons. The man told me to dismiss Alvin and told him to shut up because I'm the driver. He told him that he just want to... f*ck me (it might also meant to scold me in Cantonese... people now a days just seemed to have adapted a different culture...) So I told Alvin to leave and he just couldn't help turning back and talking... The man also threatened to come find us if anything happens to his car this week. Man, that also means we might face another six days of danger. Man, this is just way too scary. Regret... why did I drive Andy's car in the first place? Why did I listen to them? My driving test will be on this Friday and now I did this? Most importantly, how can I forgive myself like this? That reckless driving... I did that infront of church and I did something so not like a Christian... I know many will say I'm always the kind of typical good boy but I'm really not... It's true that I'm a perfectionist and I always wanted to be the best, I play by rules and I do what is right... it's really hard for me to accept the fact that I made mistakes. I was nervous, scared and worried... People reading this post, please pray for me. I hope the man won't come and find me but if he does, let it be then... I'm sick of being a coward... Welcome to the outside world... Also, thanks to the security guard for helping us calm down the angry man and preventing a fight from happening. (one more thing, just in case I'll die getting killed by the man (which if he's crazy or hateful) please pray that I get to die peacefully and faster rise up to heaven and his car number plate can be found on my bookshelf in my room written on a small piece of white paper with the title Angry Man).


Today I've seen something more
It made my heart really sore
For I fear what I have done
Strength left in me almost none
How can I calm a furious man
When I never believed I can
Why do I do what I do
And not what is true
To You
And only You
Can make me feel alive
For it is you that gave me life
Amen

What I'm thinking now

I don't know what to think now. I know it is time to let got of the past and grab hold of the future but how far can I go? I don't know but I do know it'll be pretty far ahead. Why? Because I believe so and I believe that everything that happens, even a minuscule that happens, happens for a reason. Even though now I don't really feel like talking much, kind of anti-social as well. But one thing I need to let the world know. If you are thinking of a change, you don't need to seek all over for it. The manual is right infront of your eyes. Actually I still feel lazy to do my quite time or read the "manual" given to me.

The Great Depression - 3rd WAVE

The Great Depression was one of the most massive depression encountered in 2000 due to unbelievable UPSR results(not good). It ended in 2002. I was the only one affected; worst hit was that I had to go though hard feelings, including learning to be resistant to mockery and to change one's self such as to work smarter and harder if necessary. People arround were hardly changed, most of them were hardly affected except for my parents. Changes were seen in 2002 to 2003 till the end of the Golden Years. Again, the Great Depression came to a second hit when PMR results came out in 2004. One of the greatest of the Great Depression ever encountered so far. The heat of the 2nd wave just faded not long ago near end of 2005. The hard times faced were such as extreme disgrace and humiliation, hard times with people and being isolated from the real world. The 3rd wave happened recently and was almost as tough as the 2nd one. The 2nd wave was also known as the last hit as it was promised to be so but it seemed that the promise was broken and it made the 3rd wave known as the after struck. 3 waves didn't manage to kill me but strengthened who I am inside.

Why?

Wonder why I always lose hope. I was an optimist. I just read the news and saw my friends getting lots of As and getting on newspapers. I was always the one left behind. Is this fate? Is this part of God's plans for me? Why am I always the one who have to face tons of trouble? Of all people, why does the jokers who never studied and caused havoc to the class get better results than I do? Why am I the person who's always get interupted by other people?


WHY????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Sigh...

I'm positive but still I'm feeling like a sore loser now. I just can't bare to see myself lose like shit like this. Might not even get into colleges or even take the subjects I want. Tell me what to do now. I feel like SHIT now.

Finally... OUT

Results for SPM were out and don't try to ask me what I got and how I feel because it's just not good. I felt like the most worthless person in the world for the... don't remember how many times... You think it's good? You think this is what I wanted? You think I never tried? Alright I did made a fool out of myself... but that does not mean I did not try... Alright, enough of this already. For you nosey people out there, I got only an A2... happy? Satisfied? Just leave me alone, okay?

a MAN and his WORDS

Man of the day



Michael Jordan


and his words:


"Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation."

"I realized that if I was going to achieve anything in life I had to be agressive. I had to get out there and go for it... I know fear is an obstacle for some people, but it's an illusion to me".

"I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot... and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that's precisely why I succeed".

"My attitude is that if you push me towards something that you think is a weakness, then I will turn that perceived weakness into a strength".

"Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it".

"Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen".

Believe Concert

Believe Concert @ CGMC on the 16th of March 2006, Wednesday!!! Happening event!!!

The World is moving

The world is moving and so are the people living in it. Went down to KL this morning with Andy Seow and Kevin Chan. Took the 6:30 bus and arrived at 9:15. Checked out Taylors College, Inti College and Sunway College. Andy called Bernard out and we had breakfast together at Asia Cafe and played pool. Lifestyle in KL was so different. Today I walked around KL with a different view from what I had. Now that I'm planning for long term staying there I just can't afford to make a fool out of myself again. It's not like i just go and have fun, play, eat, shop, sleep... If I stay there means that there's only one reason, studies. I really need to put in all afford. I don't want to waste another moment og my life. I've already wasted much more than what I could have imagined. Slacking off was not what I enjoyed during high but it was what I failed to do. When I went for colleges to get the enquiries today, I had the worst feeling in me. Consultants were asking me what I had for my SPM trials and what am I expecting to get. How can I ever answer that? I told them it might bad and they asked me how bad. So I just told them that it might be real bad. Even people around me, they all expect me to come up with 8As... above... What if I don't even get one? What am I to do? I felt the tense in me. That's just what I felt and is currently still feeling that way even though I know that there's no point in it. Can't turn back time. Future? Looking forward? To what? I don't know. How can I have expectations now? Only hopes. Hoping to pass and get at least 5 credits and pass BM. Maybe a little bonus of extra As... I'm not trying to sound pathetic but I just... regret an need to know what to do now... Please help me, Lord.

放弃? Giving up?

There are things I will rather choose not to give up. Sometimes I just don't know what decisions to make. Nothing is difficult nor anything is simple. I used to think that being persistent and working hard makes differences but at times I do felt as if nothing paid off and all I did was just a waste. Confusion. Maybe certain times I did use my perseverance on the wrong way. Two more days to SPM results.

Anyway, here's are some verses from the bible. Keem sent them to me when I was I needed it. Thanks Keem, love ya.


But we are the ones who are truly circumcised because we worship by the power of God's Spirit and take pride in Christ Jesus. We don't brag about what we have done

~Phillipians 3:13~


And my true partner, I ask you to help them. These women have worked together with me and with Clement and with the others in spreading the good news. Their names are now written in the book of life.

~Phillipians 3:14~


My friends, be glad, even if you have a lot of trouble. You know that you learn to endure by having your faith tested. But you must learn to endure everything, so that you will be completely mature and not lacking in anything.

~James 1:2-4~


Saw this one here just now

Christ gives me the strengh to face anything.

~Phillipians 4:14~


Sometimes it's just amazing how God works our lives. Miracle could be anywhere and love is always in the air; as long as God is there.

It's amazing how God uses troubles in our life to build us up. When we fail to learn from something, God allows a bigger obstacle to come to us. Not to let us fall in pain but to rise up in dignity and faith. God answers sincere prayers and He knows what is the best for us.


"A very wise person once said "Get to know God now-especially when you're still young. Don't make any excuses and say "I'll do so when I'm older." You'll never know what God can do and how much He can do." Knowledge is power, but wisdom is priceless. Don't be afraid of what God is doing and revealing to you. Don't be afraid of what people say, and to stand up for what is right; to stand up for Jesus..."

~ Wong Tien Tien ~



>>>miracles in my life:

~Family issues solved in just a day after prayer day and night. Answered prayer
within 24 hours.
~Turning from depression to strengh and faith.
~Standing up again and learning from mistakes
~I was feeling down and I had a line of words in mind and I was just going to say,
"No one believes in what I can do" and just as it was about to stop it went on
"except for Jesus." And there the full stop was placed.
~Too many of God's blessings and miracles more than words can say =)



You can't let go and still win

Perseverence======================================
There is no subtitle for hardwork

I DESTROY ME!

This was taken from Keon's page and no doubt it was for me =P

I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command. Half of the things you do you might just as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.
I am easily managed - you must merely be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically.

I am the servant of all great men; and alas, of all failures as well.
Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures.
I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a man. You may run me for profit or run me for ruin - it makes no difference to me.
Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I?
take a guess first b4 looking at the answer =P


























I am habit!


Keon said:"the quote of the day is specially for all u who have habit of sleeping late and sleep day time!"


Okay, from now on I will not waste as much time as I did. I will sleep earlier and not waste so much time on computers =)

one of my PAST MISTAKES

>>>Taken from someone else's blog<<<


wEll..LooKs LikE d OldeR i m..D StupideR i becOme...[ iS stuPiDer evEn A woRd?? ]

siGh...i Juz gOt My HeaRt BrokEn bUt..daT isN't ExaCtlY aLl daTs BeEn BoThErInG Me...

1stLy..JaRed...hE Is sucH a sweEt Guy...n I'vE bEeN HarbOurIng a Bit...( MorE thaN a Bit ActuaLly )..oF a CrusH 4 HIm...hE iS a GreaT gUy..Nice..sEnSitIve..n NobLe..tOo NobLe..i FiNalLy tOld hIm daT i Had FeEliNgs 4 Him...hE didnT turN me doWn at 1st...Mayb cOs He diDnt waNnA huRt me...But..daT gaVe mE hopE..FaLse HopE...He KepT gOin ON boUt hOw He TinKs gIrls Like ME deSerVe Sum oNe betTer...HoW He's Not GooD eNuf..hE Had iSsUes dEn..so i GuesS i waS uNdErstAndiNg..He waS cOnfusEd...Its Ok..sO I gaVe Him Sum Time...But He didnT cOnsideR..nEither Did he saY he dEny..He juZ kePt saYin i waS 2 GoOD 4 hIm...

At LasT i SaiD dAt i ThoT he waS gOoD ebUf 4 Me..evEn beTtER..Cos i ThoT he wAs haviN ConfiDeNcE isSueS...bUt he saId hE wasNt matUre Enuf 2 staRt a relAtiOnshIp...i MEan..i Juz neEded 2 Knw iF theRe waS a Chance 4 me..sO..After i 'Piu pAk'..i Tink daT MeaNs cOnfeSs my FeelIngs..at lAsT hE LeTs slIp bOut anoTher giRl..siGH..i AlsO reAd hIs blOg..aPpaRentlY thiS GirL seNt hIm 2 d 'reJect shOp' [ hiS WordS ]..

WorsT paRt is...i hAd a Lot of hoPe 4 Him..i meAn reLi deVelOped feEliNgs..Now he'S saYin thEres no hOpe Of Us In a RelTIOnsHIp..EvEr...tiLl He maTureS..aPparenTly...iT ProBaBly WouldNt hVe HurT sOoOoOOOOooo Bad if He tOld ME thaT In d BegInnIng InstEad Of dRaggIng It...


Well, I guess I don't really have to say much about that, it's obvious. I think what I did was to drag the problem too long that it hurt so badly. "Reject shop" or not "Reject Shop" was not the problem, ha ha. I wanted to start a relationship some time ago but when I thought about it again, I asked myself, "Is that right? Is that what I really want? Why do I want to do that?". One more thing which is certain, don't drag things on. I thought I solved it only in a matter of days... didn't I? Nevermind, it's the past. If you really don't know what to do, seek help from PEOPLE who CAN HELP. Take for example, youth pastors, councellors or people with much fuller experiences.


FORGET THE PAST AND MOVE ON NOW!

After SPM

This is a summary of what I have been doing after SPM last December 2005.



CGMC youth camp 2005 rawkx!



Met cool people



Cute Korean lady



and also retards =P (just kidding)



Acted in animal drama @ CGMC >>> I am Joseph



Leland's leaving and before that = party @ Keon's place (but where was Keon?)



Reunion of the old friend ===> Part 1



Reunion of the old friends ===> Part 2


Grace's birthday and leaving :(



Boring days in KL... Never liked Chinese New Year...



The only good thing about CNY, cg visitation and MONEY!



Fun valentine with Keon and friends =P



Tried to act like a pro...


and ended up being like a joker...







the other fellas did pretty well




Hugo's leaving... another fella who went Australia



Happening adult cell group



new hairdo



Sports and happening times in church



driving lessons



piano lessons with Tien Tien



youth cg... less happening, usually cases like this is because of the leaders =P Just kidding. Alethea is so going to kill me.



SPM results out in 4 more days! X(



Photos update coming soon

Something interesting

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Ha ha. Apparently, I found this on Keon's blog. Pretty interesting but someone please tell me that these personality tests aren't true! This thing is cool and might just spice up my blog, minus the the eunuch and 50% girlish part. But I do strongly agree with the last two lines. I am who I am! I am me!


One more thing, I think mine is slightly better than Keon's :P HA HA
Check this out

>>>Keon's = You Are 30% Boyish and 70% Girlish

>>>Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine.
>>>You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you.
>>>A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're >>>down.
>>>But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

What Keon has to say: "hmmm tell me these things are not true but just random =P"

Moving On - Enter the next level

Anyone has this book? Seems interesting.


Blessings

Just came back from cell group meeting not long ago and now I have stories to tell. Actually I felt kind of anti-social today, just don't feel like talking. Maybe it was because of pressure, peer pressure and SPM results will be out next Monday! 13th of March! Feeling lost and disappointed I didn't know what to do but praise God that He actually wrought miracles in my life. Couldn't have lived without Him, so are the friends He had given me. Felt so blessed. What I faced was fear to lose again. I've learned lots by falling and trying to overcome obstacles but still as problems emerged, I felt like being nowhere again. Maybe it just came too frequent that I can't even get rest after solving a problem. I hated what I have done and yet I did it again later and now afraid that it might happen again in future. Like what I told the other cg (cell group) members during sharing time that I didn't really know what to pray for even as I wanted to pray for my SPM results. I have already made the mistakes and if I ask for good results I will start wondering whether I deserve it. Regrets and regrets just happen and happen. Well, really have to rely on God in everything I do. I've been seeing more these days, having a glimpse of the adult world, the outside world, the world I'm drawing closer to. Now I just feel so small, smaller than what I used to think I was. As I talked to more people and took sight of other things that happened to other people, I realised that I wasn't the only one with problems. I'm not the one with the worst either. This is part of what we have to pass through I believe. Like what Keem said, when something is peeled, it goes peel by peel slowly so that the inner might form well and not damaged. So are we humans as God allows problems to come bit by bit.

I used to think quoting and having lots of great wisdom is amazing but now I realised more, something that I left out. That is, true wisdom comes from God, so as the words He had spoken. That is why it is important to read the bible. Besides, I've been wandering in my own diminutive world for too long not realising that I am just playing a miniature part of it. It's time to think less about myself, I was only being selfish. Did I pray because I wanted to pray? Was my prayers sincere? Not many times out of it I can tell. It's time to cut of these strings that tied me to it. STOP BEING SELFISH. GOD COMES FIRST. CONSIDER OTHERS JUST AS WE THINK ABOUT OURSELVES.


Cell group discussion:

MATTHEW 5:1-12 (Blessings)

God blesses those who(are): -3 who depend only on Him
4 grieve
5 humble
6 want to obey Him
7 merciful
8 hearts are pure
9 make peace
10 treated badly for doing right


God blesses those who depend only on Him. They belong to the kingdom of heaven!
God blesses those people who grieve. They will find comfort!
~~MATTHEW 5:3,4~~


SALT AND LIGHT (MATTHEW 5:13-16)

You are like light for the whole world. A city built on top of a hill cannot be hidden.


FORGET THE PAST (ISAIAH 43:18,19)

Forget what happened long ago! Don't think about the past. I am creating something new. There it is! Do you see it? I have put roads in deserts, streams in thirsty lands.
~Special thanks to Sarah~


It's time for me to let go and move on.










Nothing is impossible with Jesus!

Future = ?

SPM results out soon... what can I do? Pray about it? I did. What to pray? I don't know.

All I did for these years of school life was only being a fool playing around and treated everything nothing more but jokes. Wasted away... what can I do now? I don't even know what I should pray about. If I pray that I get good results, I feel bad for others who worked hard for it. Do I deserve good results? But if I pray that I just pass, that will be a burden for my family for having to pay for my college fees. Need I say more, I of course have to get 5 credits and pass BM, that's the least one could expect.

I don't know, so what I am doing now is to do my best for other preparations and try to discipline myself to achieve higher grades and be better in future. Can't afford to waste more time. Have to grab hold of what I have now. Well, I have not much expectations now but hope. Please pray for me.




Heart for Hope (bought from AYA festival a month ago in KL for fund raising for an unfortunate girl)

Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tyre?

"Is prayer yout steering wheel or your spare tyre?" by Corrie Ten Boom. This is my blog, so I'll just be frank. I'm a very lazy person and what I did most of the time was only wasting it. I lack of discipline and I'm stuborn. I usually sleep very late and all I'll do is just to stick infront of my computer like I have nothing better to do. Because of that, I missed out lots of things in life. When I saw the quote about prayer, I thought about it and asked myself, "How often do I pray?". I guess I've been treating prayer as a back up instead of making it my frontline. The good thing for me is that these few years and especially these few months has earned me lots of experiences. Hardtimes were of course hard and nothing comes for free. I've grown and learned to accept faults that I've made and now, I'm still trying by best to repair and change. In order to achieve that, I realised that the best way which is also the only way is to pray and practice.

I was just informed by a friend last night that her house was broked in by some fella who used to wrong way to earn some quick cash. Need I say more, everyone's upset but I believe that this family will be able to overcome things very soon. Faith is all they need. I'll pray for them. As I've witnessed things that happend around me, it changed me, my faith in God grew stronger. It's really ironic for me to tell that my thoughts move up and down as I see different things. When I saw people who lived a wealthier life than I do, I got jealous but when I saw those who were less fortunate, I realised how blessed I was compared to them. I can never compare to the world but instead, I'll do my best to live out the best out of me.

Why do we fall?

Question of the moment: "Why do we fall?"
(sorry but to tell that in order to get the answer, reading the whole post is required)

Often do we face hardships in life and down down down we fall.




"Falling down the stairs to save time" taken from somewhere.

I'm of course not that stupid as to do something like that but if someone comes and ask me, "Does it hurt?" when I fall. My answer will definitely be "DUH!" and I'll smack the fella hard on the face. Alright, just joking about that. Now you guys must be wondering why you are here reading soppy posts. Well, I guess a little humour won't hurt but if it does, please excuse my "soppines".

When someone falls, don't ask them whether it hurts because that's the silliest thing one could have ever done. Instead, go ahead and ask, "do you need help? how can I help you? allow me to help you please or say don't worry I'm here for you (that's the best I know)


Back to the question, "Why do we fall?" (Quoted from the movie Batman Begins 2005)
The answer: "So that we might learn to pick ourselves up."

That's so true. Many people fall and fall and fall till they finally give up. They lost hope and most of it is because they were frustrated and they did not understand why they fall. From each fall, we learn and we grow. As we learn from mistakes we made, our thoughts mature and our minds become more stable. Also, God uses each fall in our life to draw us closer to Him. Think about it, does a healthy person need to seek help from a physician? God teaches us and makes us stronger as we solve through obstacles. A person who has never face any problems in life is like a person who has never grown, feeding on milk and still in nappies. Failing is not the end but a beginning of something good. If you won't appreciate something till you lose it, why not learn to appreciate now?

So right now, start failing forward, not backwards.

All you need is God and faith.


More quotes from the bible coming up soon.

Arrrgggh

A post of mine just got deleted minutes ago due to some errors... It actually took me the longest to do... :(

Dreams

I have lots of dreams, things that I really wanted to do but still I have not much confident in what I planned to do. Fearing of what I am about to do might not be right or might not be easy made me a coward. Living like this is no more than wasting my life. Being in fear and dare not move ahead will cause me to remain at the same place forever. I'll pray for wisdom and guidance and also for the right choice to make. When time comes I'll be prepared and I will go forward to do what is right. To my dreams and to what I believe God can help me achieve, I will never say never and never say cannot because that is what I believe. That is how I live on. That is what I will do. God and faith is what I need now.

The Eagle Nebula - M16, might seem to be impossible for me to reach but still, I believe that as long as I work hard enough, someday I'll reach the skies and feel the atmosphere of it.










all the beautiful pictures of Eagle Nebula

I miss them

People that I really miss now...




Grace and I at her 18th birthday party just before she left for Australia. About her, she's one of the person I've shared my thoughts and feelings with. This friendship with her is more than many other greater gifts I would rather receive.




Hugo, miss his jokes. ha ha




Leland and Alvin, old buds I knew since I was young enough for nappies. I met Alvin when I was one when he moved in next to my house. As for Leland, I get to know him in nursery school. We still contact each other now even as we've graduated from high. Leland is currently in Taylors College, KL and Alvin in NS camp and will be back in another five more days.


There are just too many people that I miss now, more than name I can tell or pictures I can display. Just hoping to see them real soon.

Prefects of Sam Tet

Form fives 2005




Form fives 2005

Sam Tet

Sam Tet, my high school brought me lots of memories. Sad and happy times. Years before form 4 was great and I really enjoyed school life back then. The days after that, was just misery. But still, it was okay and certain times were pretty happening. Ups and downs in school life was normal to me and to be frank, I've learned a lot throughout these years in school. Met different people, spoke different languages, handled different problems such as problems with studies, teachers, students... Being a prefect was one of the "bonus" I got from school. I've learned to face problems and learn from it, something where normal students can't learn, not by studying, not sports and neither does doing other things in school. It was way different. You'll have to handle different cases with different ways and styles due to different people, especially weird and stuborn ones. The Christian Fellowship in Sam Tet was quite happening as well. Mr. Khong did a pretty good job there. Somehow I feel like going back to CF (not Sam Tet), just CF. Miss OJ, Andrew, Pheobe, Jessica... miss them all.

Old days in school

Back when I was still in Sam Tet...



Yi Hui and I




Yong Kim and I




Goofy and I




Sauh Yoon and I

As old friends move on

A photo of Leland, Alvin and I (middle). This picture just brought back some old memories of our friendship. We all moved on to another chapter of our lives as we go on but this friendship will definitely last.




From left to right (Jon, Leland, Jared(me), Alvin and Tim)

Improvement

I've decided to use a second blog. Most of my previous posts were inconvenient. So, let this blog be a place where people get to edify one another and share their thoughts.

old blog link: http://www.bloglines.com/blog/JaredCheeJY